Stop saying you are “old” all the time, because you will really get older the more you say it!

Age is a natural sign with a biological basis. Each of us will age gradually over time. Despite this, each of us hopes to stay young and energetic no matter how old we are. Therefore, psychology has put forward the concept of "subjective age", which means how old we feel we are.

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Psychological research has found that people with older subjective age, that is, those who feel they are older than their actual age, are more likely to experience symptoms of depression, have lower levels of happiness in life, and even have a relatively shorter life span.

These factors

It makes you feel old very fast

1. Loss of control over life

Psychologists believe that daily stressors and sense of control are important factors that affect a person's subjective age. Daily stressors refer to factors or situations in daily life that may cause us to feel nervous and anxious, while sense of control refers to an individual's belief in the ability to influence events around him or her. This sense of control can make an individual feel his or her own value and enhance the confidence and courage to face difficulties. In other words, when you feel that you have the ability to influence or control the situations or events in your life, you have a sense of control.

A study published in Mental Health Science recruited 107 volunteers, who were asked to self-assess their daily subjective age, daily stressors, and sense of control for nine consecutive days. The results showed that people with a high sense of control tend to feel younger, especially when there are more daily stressors. People with a high sense of control feel at least 2.5 years younger than those with a low sense of control.

Figure | Lee et al., 2024

This is because when a person feels that he or she has a high level of influence and control over his or her life, he or she will take positive attitudes and actions to deal with stressors in daily life, and believe that he or she can successfully get through those relatively difficult moments and be full of hope for the future. On the contrary, when the sense of control is low, when faced with stress, he or she will fall into negative emotions and helplessness, find it difficult to take effective measures to deal with difficulties, and even think that there is little hope for his or her future.

For each of us, youth is synonymous with "everything is possible", right? So, when we feel that we can no longer control our lives, we feel that we are drifting away from "youth" and are slowly getting old.

2. Lack of sleep or poor sleep

Sleep has an important impact on our body and mind. It can activate a variety of regulatory mechanisms, help maintain our physical and mental health, and make us feel energetic when we wake up in the morning, and yesterday's stress and negative emotions will disappear.

Similarly, sleep affects our perception of subjective age, and a study published in the Journal of the Royal Society in March 2024 provided relevant evidence using both survey and experimental methods.

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In the survey, 429 volunteers were evaluated on their subjective age and the number of days of insufficient sleep in the past 30 days. The results showed that volunteers who got enough sleep every day felt that they were 5.81 years younger than their actual age on average, and for each additional day of insufficient sleep, the average subjective age would increase by 0.23 years. In other words, if you do not get enough sleep every day for 30 days, you may feel that you are 6.9 years older than your actual age!

In the experimental study, 186 volunteers were divided into a full sleep group and a sleep restriction group. The former slept 9 hours a night for 2 days, while the latter could only sleep 4 hours. The results showed that compared with the full sleep group, the volunteers in the sleep restriction group felt 4.4 years older on average.

Researchers believe that subjective age is a bio-psycho-social marker of a person's aging, and lack of sleep or poor quality sleep will make people feel that they are aging rapidly in these three aspects. When sleep is insufficient, the body's physical and mental regulation mechanism will also become less effective, causing people to feel powerless, that is, to feel older. At the same time, aging is often associated with poor sleep, so lack of sleep will make a person feel older than they actually are.

2 methods

Make you younger

Psychologists believe that, as the above research shows, a person's subjective age is highly malleable. We may feel older or younger than our actual age due to factors such as sleep, stress, and sense of control. Conversely, this also shows that we can make our subjective age younger by improving these factors, thereby improving mental health and living a happier life.

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1. Practice the "118" healthy sleep concept

Sufficient sleep and good quality sleep can make people feel younger. According to the "118" healthy sleep concept of the "China Sleep Research Report (2022)", it is recommended that everyone practice the healthy habit of "going to bed at 11 o'clock and sleeping for 8 hours". Of course, according to sleep-related research, the normal sleep time of most adults is between 7 and 9 hours. At the same time, many people may find it difficult to fall asleep at 11 o'clock due to work and other reasons, but the core of this concept is to recommend maintaining adequate and regular sleep habits, that is, going to bed and getting up at regular times, and maintaining adequate sleep time that suits you.

2. Improve your sense of control over your life

According to the above research, reducing daily stressors and improving the sense of control in life are important factors that make a person younger. But generally speaking, daily stressors are external and uncontrollable factors. When we encounter troubles or challenges in life or work, stress will naturally arise, so reducing stressors may not be an easy thing to do. The sense of control is an internal and controllable factor, because the sense of control is a subjective belief in our hearts. We can improve our sense of control through the following methods.

Enhance self-efficacy

The famous psychologist Albert Bandura proposed that self-efficacy is a person's belief in his or her ability to complete a task or achieve a specific goal. When self-efficacy is high, we will believe that we can overcome difficulties in life, complete our work or study tasks, and will actively take effective methods to help ourselves achieve our goals. This is actually a manifestation of self-control.

We can enhance our sense of self-efficacy and control over our lives by frequently learning and mastering new skills or accumulating successful experiences. For example, we can find a sport or hobby we like and gradually improve and master related knowledge and skills in the process of practice. Or we can do something very simple but fulfilling, such as making a simple and healthy breakfast according to a recipe, reading an interesting book, learning a few common foreign words, etc.

Set small goals for yourself

Whether at work or in life, we have a series of things to accomplish, such as completing a project plan, keeping the room tidy, etc. We can break these things down into small goals or steps, as well as specific solutions. This will give us a sense of control over our current life and work, and make us think that we are actively controlling our own behavior and thus affecting the final results.

Learn to regulate your emotions

No matter what happens in life, we will have certain emotions about it, especially when something bad happens, the emotions will become negative and strong, which will make us feel out of control. Therefore, learning to understand and regulate your emotions is also an effective way to improve your sense of control. When we are able to maintain a stable and positive emotional attitude in the face of stress and difficulties, we are more likely to believe that we have the ability to control the events in our lives.

There are many ways to effectively regulate emotions, such as talking to relatives and friends, positive self-affirmation, abdominal breathing, practicing mindfulness meditation, appropriate exercise, etc. In addition, you can also try art therapy methods, such as painting, paper cutting, pottery, etc. The process of artistic creation can make people feel relaxed and find a sense of satisfaction, shifting their attention to the present, thereby alleviating negative emotions.

References

[1] Lee, SE, & Neupert, SD (2024). The effect of control beliefs on the relationship between daily stressors and subjective age in younger adults. Mental Health Science, e56.

[2] Balter, LJ, & Axelsson, J. (2024). Sleep and subjective age: protect your sleep if you want to feel young. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 291(2019), 20240171.

Author: Chen Yufeng, Master of Developmental and Educational Psychology

Reviewer: Yang Xiaoyang, Associate Professor, School of Psychology, Sichuan Normal University