A week of crooked comments reflects a year: China will become Pandaria, it all depends on whether Musk's firecrackers are powerful enough

Maybe you see the haze all over the sky and think it is just pollution. However, you never expected that it is actually the ancient magic flowing in the world.

The sky is shrouded in fog, and people have chosen to wear masks and other protective equipment. Often hiding indoors, the cold environment makes you constantly choose to find food to keep warm, and staying up late for a long time will make your dark circles difficult to dissipate.

When the magic is lifted, your bloated body and the mask attached to your body depict your appearance. The light flashing in the middle of your dark eye sockets seems to tell the world: As a panda, why do we fight!

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But! There is still hope. Because we have Meiren Xi!!

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【SpaceX successfully recovered the first-stage rocket】

Introduction: According to foreign media The Verge, Space X successfully launched the most upgraded version of the Falcon 9 rocket on Monday night local time, successfully completing the task of sending Orbcomm's 11 communication satellites into the predetermined orbit, and very accurately recovered the first-stage rocket 10 minutes after launch, taking the first step in rocket recovery in human space history.

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Maybe someone will ask curiously, "Editor, what does rocket recovery have to do with us? I don't have the money to go to space."

I think this is right. But first of all, it looks awesome, right? And now there are more tricks.

It was just a little bit of stuff before, and then it fell down with a whoosh. This is a flying monkey.

Now it's, huh~~~~~ then sit on your butt, and huh~~~~~ again. This is a firecracker

If the technology matures, it will be a big deal in the future~ You know what I mean. That's aerospace for all the people!

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But to be honest, as an informal editor, I should still chat with you in the spirit of humanistic care. With the news that SpaceX successfully recovered the first-stage rocket, Musk has made a sensation in the technology circle. This senior programmer who owns many well-known technology companies has evolved into a legendary figure who can be compared with Putin.

Of course, the promised year of distorted reviews must still involve some stories from the past.

Musk also developed autonomous driving this year, comrades. What if this thing is finally made, coupled with breakthroughs in artificial intelligence technology that reach a level with personality?

The editor will take you to imagine the future scene.

You sit quietly in the car, watching two cars bumping into each other in the distance, and you feel a chill in your heart: Damn, driving practice is starting to abuse us singles. But when your car turns around, you suddenly get a shock, and when your car voice sounds, you confirm your guess: "Master, I want to kiss them too." At this time, you only have one thought in your mind: I shouldn't have used the Ruhua voice operating system earlier!

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Joking aside, it would be great if autonomous driving could really be realized. Drivers would also have time to play with their phones, right?

Besides, with the current state of BAT in the Internet circle grabbing land and making money, if we spend too much, we probably won’t have a chance to grow again.

[It is rumored that Alibaba invested $1.25 billion in Ele.me and became the largest shareholder]

Introduction: According to Caixin.com on December 25, Alibaba completed an investment of US$1.25 billion in Ele.me, accounting for 27.7% of the shares and becoming the largest shareholder of Ele.me. At this point, Ele.me's valuation has reached US$4.5 billion and it will continue to operate independently. A few months ago, Ele.me received US$630 million in Series F financing from Didi Chuxing, and the two parties will conduct in-depth cooperation on urban delivery business. Sources said that Alibaba hopes to become the single largest shareholder of Ele.me in addition to the management team through this investment. Recently, there was news that Alibaba's investment amount was US$1.5 billion and Ele.me was valued at US$4.9 billion, but the news has never been responded to. Now that the amount of US$1.25 has been confirmed, Ele.me's valuation is discounted compared to market rumors.

To be honest, I really don't want to count carefully when and how BAT re-planned its territory. After all, their company has so many leaders and employees, and they can change their minds in a minute and spend so much money to force the headlines. These are not three giants, they are three extremely rich people.

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There is no humanity at all~~ Today, I was just stimulated by a certain salary list, which said how much Chinese people earn. As a salaried person, I deeply feel that my thigh roots are not enough to describe my badness.

In 2015, BAT bought various companies to occupy the land, and they were determined to fight to the death. But I really think that when I first started writing crooked reviews, I was just graduated and was shocked and said: Wow, so awesome and rich. Now I am not interested in such news every day. If I was not afraid of being beaten by the editor-in-chief, I really want to put such news on the headlines every day:

In order to seize the opportunity of Double Eleven, users in Jiangsu, Zhejiang and Shanghai fell asleep with their mobile phones in their arms late at night, and the mobile phone hit their faces. The screen and face were rubbed against each other, and the users emptied their shopping carts before midnight.

A young man from Northeast China was rescued after being trapped in the snow and using a "fever-proof" jacket to keep warm.

Beijing has been hit by heavy haze for a long time. Two Momo users were -0.08m apart but still couldn’t see each other.

Wang Feng admits to hiding his identity in order to make headlines: Chaoyang resident

…I feel like I’m not far from being fired if I continue writing this…

Don’t you think that news like this is much more heartwarming than knowing that your salary is not even half of the average level?

If there is such news, I will not forget to tell you all. If I really become famous, I will also give you 100 million!

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[Post-90s "domineering president" Yu Jiawen publicly apologizes]

Introduction: He once vowed to share 100 million yuan in profits with employees, but suddenly regretted it on "Let's Talk" and "publicly admitted his mistake". Zhou Hongyi was furious, saying, "You are so hypocritical. As a boss, you can't fool your employees." Recently, Yu Jiawen publicly apologized on Weibo, saying that "the 100 million yuan dividend is essentially a disgusting boast and hype", and said that he would share 10% of his personal shares with employees as compensation for breaking his promise.

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In fact, the public opinion about this incident has also caused a lot of pressure on the editor, not because the editor's name is Yu Jiawen. The editor has so many cows that I haven't had time to brag about, and now I see how tragic the retribution in this life is.

So since then, I never dare to say that I am handsome in the presence of leaders. After all, how can a scumbag like me take away the title of Xiaodu Minjunxi!

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I always thought that if I behaved well, he would find time to give me 100 million points.

***, today is Christmas. I am a lonely and cold editor, but I still want to work hard to give you care and love. But I always feel that the role of a warm man is not suitable for me.

And look at the reply from this user in the previous issue

I just want to say, don't think you can pretend to be Boss Zhou by using the person name ***. I won't believe it unless you give me hundreds of red envelopes.

*** I would like to share with you a story I compiled from an interview. I hope you are used to my serious editor:

​​ http://mdsa..com/art/201512/502373.htm​​ (It’s really a very serious story)