How did these idols who became popular in Li Jiaoshou’s circle of friends gain admiration?

I don’t know when it started, but we often see such news in WeChat Moments:

So-and-so, who doesn't want to be a house slave, a young couple born in the 1990s returned to the ancient village, brewed the best wine, grew the best vegetables, and slept next to the one they loved most.

So-and-so gave up millions of dollars in annual salary and high income just to make a spoon that protects the environment.

So-and-so would rather lose his job than not expose his boss's unspoken rules.

…

At the same time, we also see many entrepreneurs who are admired by netizens, supported by fans, and become people who can move their friends, but they keep giving speeches, but with little success.

In this article, Li Jiaoshou will help you rethink: What kind of idols do today's consumers need?

Idols are a commodity, and we need them.

Why does an ordinary person need an idol? Why do we like to forward messages in our circle of friends about young couples born in the 1990s giving up their status as house slaves and returning to rural life?

We know that the continued existence of any thing must be because it meets some user needs - just like the existence of a chair is because it meets people's need to "sit".

The existence of "idols" also satisfies our need for "psychological substitution" - we see others returning to rural life and create the same fantasy to replace our own actual experience of returning to rural life.

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The reason why this is effective is that neuroscience has discovered two important characteristics of human brain emotion expression in recent years:

1. Imagined experiences are similar to real experiences.

The emotional experience in your brain cannot distinguish between your fantasy of bravely exposing the dark truth and your actual doing so.

In one set of experiments, psychologists asked a group of people to imagine eating cheese and found that their brains responded in a similar way to people who actually ate cheese. What’s even more amazing is that when people who fantasize about eating cheese finish their fantasy, their appetite may even be satisfied to a certain extent.

2. Other people’s experiences are similar to your own.

Because of the existence of mirror neurons, when we see someone similar to us doing heroic deeds, we experience the same emotions as if we actually did it ourselves.

In one set of experiments, the brain responses detected when watching others win money at gambling were very similar to those detected when watching oneself win money at gambling (but to different degrees).

A father wanted to be a civil servant when he was young but failed, so he forced his child to take the civil service exam. It was also a similar need - seeing his child become a civil servant, the emotional experience is actually similar to when he actually became a civil servant.

It is this setting of the brain that allows us to achieve a certain balance among various desires, and to obtain a certain degree of desire satisfaction (even if there is no actual gain) through our own fantasies and watching the behavior of others.

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Many people want to have sex but it is difficult to get it at low cost, so Porn came into being.

Many people want to have the experience of revenge and killing everyone, but they are forced by the law, so there are rough action movies called Action Porn.

Similarly, white-collar workers who are busy with daily work have to take on mortgages, get promoted, support their families, and maintain their social status. There are always many things they want to do but cannot do, so there are many "behavioral idols": going back to the countryside, opening a hotel in Lijiang, bravely opposing the shameless system, and proving the equality of women...

When we forward, support and follow these idols, it is equivalent to having a similar emotional experience as if we actually took action to do so.

If the product produced to replace "sexual experience" is called "Porn", then the product produced to replace "performing certain behaviors that you want to do but cannot do" can be called "Behavior Porn".

In the past we often talked about key opinion leaders (KOL), but now we have to mention a new type of leader - key action leaders (KBL).

Why they become “key action leaders”

We know that the reason why key action leaders (idols) exist is because they meet people's needs for "psychological substitution" - we have always wanted to muster up the courage to quit our jobs and start our own businesses, but due to various inner pressures, we did not take such action; and now someone has done so. We perform role-playing and fantasizing like watching a movie, and also gain emotional experiences similar to what we actually do.

So what is the key to these people becoming such icons?

The key is to make the public feel: "I did what you wanted to do, but the only difference between me and you is that I overcame some psychological barriers."

For example, Wang Lala gave up some secular jobs and went to Thailand to sell hot and sour noodles. As a result, she became famous and was admired by many people.

Because these admirers (many of whom are white-collar literary young women working in first-tier cities) have always wanted to open stores in scenic places, and have similar identities and image to Wang Lala, but they did not do it due to some psychological obstacles (such as life pressure or unwillingness to make efforts).

At this time, when they see Wang Lala doing something they have always wanted to do but haven't done, they are likely to develop emotions such as admiration and support, thereby performing a certain "psychological substitution" and obtaining emotional experiences similar to what they actually do.

Doing what others want to do but can't do - this is the key to becoming an idol.

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So does that mean you can become an idol just by doing “things that others want to do but can’t do”? Of course not.

What you do must be “ imitable ” – making people feel that the reason they fail to do what you do is simply because of some psychological barriers of their own (such as not working hard enough), rather than because of some uncontrollable factors (such as background).

For example, why, even when Baidu’s market value exceeded Alibaba’s a few years ago, the number of people who admired Robin Li was far less than the number of people who admired Jack Ma?

One important reason is that everyone thinks that Jack Ma’s success is more due to his leadership, hard work, courage, etc., while they think that Robin Li’s success is due to his mastery of awesome search technology.

To learn and imitate Jack Ma, ordinary people think it seems very simple. They just need to overcome certain psychological obstacles - such as working harder and being more passionate. However, it seems much more troublesome to learn and imitate Robin Li. To learn the technology, you have to at least buy a C++ book, and you may not be able to understand it.

This means that as an idol, Jack Ma is highly "imitable", while Robin Li is not very imitable.

The purpose of worshipping idols is to "simulate" them in one's heart in order to gain emotional experiences similar to what one actually does. If you don’t have this kind of “imitability”, how can you become an idol?

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For example, when talking about the most admired investor , if you are outside the financial circle, 9 out of 10 people would probably say it is Buffett. Is it because Buffett is the best fund manager?

Of course not. In fact, many people have not heard of "James Simons". He is a great quantitative investment fund manager. The long-term return rate of his investment is not inferior to that of Buffett. In some years, the return rate is even higher than that of Buffett.

So why don't people worship Simmons? One very important reason is that Buffett advocates "value investing", which emphasizes investment philosophy, not moving stocks but looking at their value; while Simons advocates quantitative investment, which requires precise mathematical analysis and a large amount of model calculations.

To ordinary people, both of them have done "what they want to do but cannot do", but the difference lies in - the degree of imitability is different.

Buffett is highly imitable. People feel that to imitate Buffett, it is more of a "psychological" factor (such as believing in long-term value and believing in the power of trends). As long as they overcome these obstacles in their hearts, they can do it themselves. However, Simons’s approach is far from being imitable, and ordinary people may not be willing to study what “serial correlation in regression models” is.

Therefore, if you want to become an action leader, a key is to make people feel: I am the same as you, I have no resources and no skills, the only difference is that I have the courage to do it and you don’t (such as Jack Ma’s courage), or I have a certain belief that you don’t (such as Buffett’s belief in long-term value).

This makes it imitable. (Although no one really imitates it)

Find the things you want to do but haven’t done yet

There are so many things we want to do but have not done. If there is someone who looks similar to us and takes the initiative to do this thing, we will support him, like him, and worship him as an idol in our hearts to get a similar "emotional experience" as doing this real thing. But how do you find these “things that others want to do but haven’t done”?

Li Jiaoshou lists several of the simplest ways to find it here:

1. Want to do something, but constrained by long-term goals

There are some things that we have always wanted to do, but ultimately did not do them because we were forced to stick to some long-term goal. If someone could just give up this long-term goal and do this, we would admire them.

For example, saving money to buy a house is a long-term goal that people in first-tier cities have to stick to. In order to achieve this goal, we sacrifice many other values ​​- we have to choose high-paying and stable jobs, we have to restrain our consumption, and we have to manage the family finances step by step. We want to break free from our status as mortgage slaves, but we are unable to take practical action.

At this time, if we suddenly see——

"Not wanting to be house slaves, this young couple born in the 1990s in the city returned to a 500-year-old village to make the best wine, grow the best vegetables, and sleep next to the one they love most."

Therefore, through behaviors such as forwarding, liking, supporting and even worshipping, they complete "psychological substitution" and gain a similar experience as if they were actually doing this thing.

After seeing this incident, most people will not really not buy a house, but they can’t help but feel relieved and feel that they have a way out (if they really can’t buy a house, I won’t be worse off than this couple).

Therefore, to become a "behavioral leader" in a certain area, you can constantly look for a long-term goal that people are struggling to stick to.

After all, when anyone works hard to achieve a long-term goal (such as studying, getting a promotion, buying a house, etc.), there are always things that need to be sacrificed for this goal, and there is always a moment when one thinks it would be nice if they don’t have to achieve this goal. As a behavioral leader, you can role-play their ideal self and give up a long-term goal to satisfy their fantasy.

There are many examples of this:

"Escaping the fashion world, she moved her family from Paris to the countryside and became the most beautiful peasant woman in the world" - Giving up hard career goals

"Dissatisfied with the education system, he dropped out of high school and earned tens of millions a year from writing" - A high school student who gave up his hard-earned college entrance examination goal

"A graduate of Peking University, he does not seek income but only poetry and distant places. Now his works bring spring to hundreds of millions of people" - giving up the long-term goal of participating in professional competition

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2. Want to do something, but forced by the cost of action

In society, we have been asked to fulfill various responsibilities, such as patriotism, environmental protection, punishing evil and promoting good, respecting parents, and keeping fit, but we ultimately do not do so because the cost of action is too high. At this time, if someone is willing to bear the huge cost of action and do this, we will admire and support them.

For example, "environmental protection" is something we should do and we want to do it, but it is indeed very troublesome to take action (do you want me to quit my job and plant trees?). However, if I don't do this, I will feel guilty - as a high-quality citizen, how can I not do something for the environment?

It's very simple. Just forward an article like "In order to get rid of global garbage, he invented an edible spoon, but unexpectedly it was snapped up by 1.5 million foodies and sold out", admire this person and replace the role in your heart.

At this point, this idol is equivalent to a unique "emotional commodity", which allows us to obtain a similar experience as actually doing it ourselves (of course with different intensity) through supporting behavior.

Once you forward such articles, encourage, support and admire them, you will instantly feel like an environmentalist, and the feeling of being idle for many years without making any contribution to environmental protection will be reduced.

Therefore, if you want to become an "action leader" in a certain aspect, you can constantly look for things that people should have done but ultimately did not do because the cost of the behavior was too high.

This is because for these tasks, what we pursue is often not necessarily the actual effect, but a kind of psychological proof of "I did this".

For example, many simple and crude patriotic behaviors (boycotting KFC) are of this type.

We know that when it comes to patriotism, making efforts on the demand side (such as boycotting KFC and choosing to eat domestic products) is far less effective than making efforts on the supply side - such as studying hard, improving one's skills, and working harder, so as to produce better domestic products and improve the competitiveness of Chinese manufacturing in the international market.

But why is it that every time these incidents occur, everyone’s first reaction is not to work overtime or learn skills, but to do these things? A very important reason is that boycotting KFC is less costly.

So, in order to guide people's actions, you need to keep looking: What are the things people should have done but didn't do because the cost of action is too high? Then let them meet this need at a low cost by "supporting you".

"This girl invented a drinkable book and changed the fate of 663 million people" - Support her and meet charity needs at low cost

"Giving up supermodels and Lamborghinis, this young richest man in Gotham actually went to prison to punish criminals" - Support him and meet the needs of punishing evil and promoting good at a low cost

"Most people talk about patriotism on the forum, but this Peking University beauty designed clothes with the five-star red flag, shocking the Paris fashion circle" - Support her, meet patriotic needs at a low cost

"Who says consumers are at the mercy of others? This 40-year-old English teacher smashed a substandard refrigerator with a hammer downstairs of a Fortune 500 company" - Support him and meet the rights protection needs at a low cost

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3. Want to do something, but have self-imposed limitations

We have many dreams that we want to realize, but due to the limitations we set for ourselves (for example, I don’t have any background, so no matter how hard I try, it’s useless), we just don’t take action. And if someone can break this "self-limitation" and do this, we will support and admire him.

For example, many women regard gender as a limitation, believing that "women cannot learn technology" and "women cannot compete with men", and thus give up the pursuit of some goals. However, those who break this self-imposed limitation and actively pursue goals will be regarded as idols.

"Without her, there would be no wifi. This porn star, who was the first to appear naked on camera, eventually taught herself to become a technical genius like Steve Jobs."

In daily life, there are many "self-limiting" behaviors, and to become an "action leader", you can consider: What common self-limiting behaviors have been broken by your success?

"Neither 180 cm nor 18 cm, this yellow man makes Europeans and Americans surrender just by relying on their fashion sense" - Limitations on racial issues

Who says people can’t do anything when they get old? This group of elderly people with cancer who were on IV drips trained for 6 months and traveled around Taiwan on motorcycles - Limitations on age issues

"An ordinary English teacher who is not tall, rich or handsome, created a company with a market value of hundreds of billions with these 3 decisions" - Limitations on background, appearance and other issues

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4. Want to do something, but forced by group norms

Living in society, we are forced to abide by countless "group norms" (such as subordinates obey superiors), which prevents us from doing something we want to do. If someone can break this "group norm" and do this, we will support and admire them.

For example, we are often asked to help others without any reason, and it seems that we would be in the wrong if we don’t help. We really want to scold them bluntly (you idiot, I will never help you again), but we don’t do so because of group norms (the “don’t hurt harmony” norm in Chinese culture).

At this time, if someone takes the initiative to scold or refute you, you will easily support him/her. What’s even more amazing is that the emotional experience you get from seeing him/her refute and scold is similar to the emotional experience you get from actually mustering up the courage to do it.

So, if you find that people are unable to do what they want to do because of certain group norms, it will be easier for you to gain support and become an "action leader" if you break this norm.

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5. Want to do something, but forced by external image

There are many things we have always wanted to do, but in the end we did not do them because we felt embarrassed. If someone gives up these external images and actually does it, we will easily support and admire them.

For example, many people want to show their true selves (e.g., without makeup), but due to image pressure, they rarely do so. If you can give up your image and actually do it at this time, it will be easy to get support and become an "action leader."

This is the case with Essena O'Neill, an Australian internet celebrity . She originally had 570,000 followers on Instagram and spent all day showing off her wonderful life and beautiful appearance. But suddenly one day, she thought that these "shows of life" were too fake, so she decided to give up, and started to appear without makeup and share her real life. The result was an outpouring of support, appreciation, and adoration.

So, you can find out: What are the things we have always wanted to do but have not done because of our image?

If others are embarrassed to go to the movies alone because of their image (which means they are bad at socializing ), then go to the movies alone. If others are embarrassed to buy cheap clothes due to their image, then you should buy cheap and simple clothes and pursue your true self. This is what “Fancl” did back then.

Once you do this, it will be easier to gain support.

Conclusion

If you can't become a "key opinion leader", then you might as well become a "key action leader".

Gaining support is definitely not because of your large number of sideline speeches, but because you have done something that others have always wanted to do but have not done:

Want to do something, but are forced to do so by long-term goals. Want to do something, but are forced to do so by the cost of action. Want to do something, but are forced to do so by self-limitations. Want to do something, but are forced to do so by group norms. Want to do something, but are forced to do so by external image. Note: The idols defined in this article are idols that are created "because of admiration and support for behavior." Stars who become popular because the public likes their looks or a certain work are not within the scope of discussion.