How much of the oily fish known as "Splatoon" should you eat every day to be safe?

Today is Monday. According to my experience, people usually don't have much appetite on Mondays. Today I plan to whet your appetite! The appetizer is——

Oily fish!

It’s this big, is it enough to eat?

Image source: nzherald.co.nz

Oily fish, also known as spray fish, butt oily fish, constipation savior fish, laxative fish... But from these strange nicknames, you can know that its biggest feature is that it moisturizes the toilet from the anus.

It is not enough to just listen to what others say. This time we invited author Jerez S to experience eating oily fish for herself. The following is her experience report sent on the toilet, please enjoy it.

When a person chooses to eat oily fish

When a person chooses to eat oily fish, what he expects is never a feast on the tongue, but a dripping dance on the toilet. Eating oily fish will definitely make your butt and anus ooze oil, but how it oozes and how it oozes is still an adventure worth experiencing personally.

So, I spent a "huge sum" of 66.9 yuan to buy a large piece of oily fish, expecting just such an adventure in which oil would splash everywhere and my underwear would feel sad.

Although oily fish have many strange nicknames, they also have proper names. The two species we call oily fish are mainly Lepidocybium flavobrunneum and Ruvettus pretiosus.

They belong to the family Scombridae in the order Scombridae and usually live in tropical and temperate waters at a depth of about 200-700 meters. Most of them are accidentally caught in tuna fisheries.

Heterodon and spiny-scaled mackerel

Image source: sciencedirect.com

Both are very large and can grow to about 2 meters in length, so they can cut large, substantial strips of meat. They also have sufficient conditions to imitate the same large tuna and obtain a "white tuna" camouflage armor.

When cut horizontally, it is similar to the equally snow-white cod, and a "Dragon Cod" camouflage armor is obtained.

Soft and tender oily fish

Image credit: Daniel Carnaje

Some businesses use oily fish instead of tuna, but if you look closely, the texture of the two is different. Image source: Yoon S. Byun/Boston Globe

Just looking at the appearance, you may find it hard to imagine that under their dark and rough skin, there is actually tender white meat. The meat of oil fish is very tender and it is difficult to distinguish it from other snow-white fish with the naked eye. When you eat it, you may even sigh, today's fish is really good, tender and fragrant!

The soft and tender fish is not an illusion, but a super high content of wax fat that is rushing through your lips and tongue and into your stomach. The oil content in the muscle tissue of oily fish is about 14%-25%, most of which is wax fat. In the whole oily fish, wax fat accounts for more than 75% of the total fat content. With such a high oil content, it can sizzle and ooze oil when fried in a pan.

Fried fish fillet without any oil

The rich oil content makes the taste of oily fish very tempting. When eaten raw, its taste is no doubt similar to that of plump salmon, delicate and tender, with a sweet taste; steamed oily fish is even more white and pleasant, like a plump white steamed bun, with a moist taste; and roasting or pan-frying may be the best way to cook oily fish.

No need to add any oil. During the heating process, the oily fish itself will contribute rich oil, making every strand of meat fiber very tender and juicy. I think the taste is no different from fried salmon, but the taste itself is slightly weaker. But it can also be regarded as delicious and fragrant.

This amazing taste comes from the wax fat in the oily fish, which is a good thing because it can provide buoyancy for the oily fish without consuming extra energy.

How was Splatoon made?

After seeing this, do you think it is delicious and a little tempting? Now, here comes the key point!

The waxy fat that makes oily fish delicious is not something our digestive system can handle, so we can only let it go on its way to see you tomorrow and pass through the intestines without getting damaged. Due to the large amount of oil lubrication, the food residues that might have been dry and squeezed in our colon are moistened with oil and pass through the anus smoothly.

The English name of oily fish is castor oil fish, which literally means castor oil fish. This is because a large part of the wax fat contained in oily fish is the isomer of castor oil, and castor oil is a super powerful laxative, so it is no wonder that oily fish can also be used as a laxative.

It's the grease from the grilled fish, not my pants!!

In fact, the original idea of ​​eating oily fish was to relieve constipation. The first people to discover the miraculous effect of oily fish were probably residents of some small fishing villages in Spain. They found that drinking soup made from oily fish bones could solve their constipation problems. Later, people gradually discovered that eating fish meat, not just fish bones, was even more effective.

But they did not start to promote this magical laxative. What really made the name of oily fish laxative known to everyone was its two camouflage armors - white tuna and long cod.

Some sashimi platters contain oil fish

Image source: Internet

After being dressed in camouflage armor and sold by unscrupulous merchants, the oilfish was sold on the tables of ordinary people. Suddenly, jet fighters appeared all over the world.

Their experiences are similar. After eating some delicious and tender fish, they lose control of their anus on the same day or the next day, and lose themselves accidentally. For example, in 2003, a dinner party for 56 guests in California, USA, caused 42 people to transform into jet fighters.

Oily fish is rare and unique

But there are so many diarrheas, why is the diarrhea caused by oily fish so unforgettable? Because the diarrhea caused by eating oily fish is not quite the same as ordinary diarrhea.

Normally, we have loose stools, which are watery. When we release, as long as there is no one around, we release them freely. Moreover, the watery stools do not have a strong odor, and they pass through the anus without leaving any traces. As long as the flush button is pressed, the toilet will be clean without any traces.

But diarrhea after eating oily fish is not the case at all. First of all, before diarrhea occurs, you are likely to suffer from severe abdominal pain, as if a big hand is twisting your stomach and intestines, twisting them back and forth. People with serious conditions may also suffer from vomiting, nausea, and dizziness.

When you are ready and sit on the toilet to release your diarrhea, a self-made stinky experience begins. This kind of diarrhea is often very smelly, several times more smelly than what you usually feel, and it will definitely make you doubt your life. When you finally finish, you start to enter the aftermath stage. You will also find that the chrysanthemum that was clean when you came in has now become greasy and the paper consumption is MAX.

Finally, when you look back before flushing, you will find a pile of orange or brown, shapeless bodies, shining with dazzling oil. What's more terrifying is that there is also a layer of oil on the water surface.

Even if you press the flush button, the oil will still cling to the toilet bowl, broadcasting your misery to everyone who visits the toilet. This type of diarrhea has a special name, called steatorrhea.

Of course, it is really good to be able to solve the problem on the toilet. After all, sometimes you don’t even have time to walk to the bathroom before you collapse - after all, even if there are many people who have fallen before, it is still easy for us to believe a fart when we have diarrhea.

I thought it was just a silent fart, but it turned out to be a hot and wet panty, and a foul smell quietly filled the air. It was definitely a scene of social death. At this time, emergency anal lifting was useless. This pair of pants soaked with orange stinky oil was definitely gone, and whether we could continue to live on this planet was also a question.

How much oily fish is safe to eat?

Since there are many brave people who know that they will ejaculate, they still eat oily fish. We can find a lot of posts on the Internet describing their miserable ejaculation. Of course, I can tell you from my own personal experience that most people are really sincere.

However, not everyone will burst out when eating oily fish. This is related to individual constitution. For example, some people with iron stomachs can eat a lot of oily fish because they have no reaction. I have a sensitive stomach and I don’t eat much, but I still suffer a lot. However, I am quite accepting of the oily fish…

Of course, I guess many Warriors still want to try after seeing this. So please remember one sentence:

If you control your intake, you may still be saved. A more referenced upper limit is 170g. To be on the safe side, you can eat less. After all, 50g is enough for a taste.

Just give up on this big one.

Image source: flickr

Source: Museum

Written by | Jerez S

WeChat Editor | Ah She Shuang