School is about to start. How can we help children adjust their mindset to welcome the new semester?

Winter vacation is coming to an end. Are your children enjoying their "last freedom" or are they ready to go back to school? Children are more or less stressed and troubled by the new semester. Kindergarten children don't like being left alone in kindergarten and are worried about waving goodbye to their families before entering the classroom. Children in primary school don't like taking exams or studying. Adolescents are troubled by academic pressure, learning difficulties and related mental health problems.

Research has found that the sense of belonging experienced in school can affect children's academic achievement and mental health. Preparing for the start of school in advance can help children reduce their anxiety about school, reduce their resistance, and allow them to enter the learning state as soon as possible, which can increase their positive emotional experience. It is not possible to make children "focus" overnight. The secret lies in: preparing in advance, warming up slowly, and understanding and tolerance.

Helping your child's body readjust to school life

(1) Say goodbye to late sleep and gradually adjust your child’s bedtime

Starting from one week before school starts, move your child's bedtime forward by 30 minutes every day. Adjust the bedroom lighting. Dim lighting can help the body secrete more melatonin and promote sleep. If your child is reluctant to go to bed early, try accompanying him before bed. Children like to spend time with their parents. Reading a school-themed book together or chatting about the upcoming new semester are all good choices.

(2) Say goodbye to high-fat and high-sugar foods and adjust your child’s diet

Throughout the holiday, readily available snacks and carefully cooked dishes have helped children's gastrointestinal systems adapt to the rhythm of "being fed at any time". After school starts, the gastrointestinal system needs to re-adapt to the rhythm of three meals a day, and the "hunger" signals sent by the body will prevent them from concentrating on class. Adjust your child's diet from a week before school starts, limit high-fat and high-sugar foods; prepare some healthy snacks after school starts so that children can replenish energy during breaks.

(3) Increase the time spent outdoors to activate the body and cope with high-intensity learning

Outdoor activities can not only pull children away from various screens, but also awaken their bodies. Through physical exercise, help their bodies be in an "activated" state to cope with the upcoming high-intensity learning. Starting from one week before school starts, at least 30 minutes of outdoor activities every day, and gradually increase the intensity of exercise.

Help children build a psychological buffer period

(1) Fixed winter vacation homework time every day during the holidays

Completing a small portion of winter vacation homework every day can help children develop a sense of continuity in learning, while also avoiding the rush and panic of "making up homework" the day before school starts, and the resulting negative emotional experience of school and learning. Establish with your child in advance that they must complete their homework before they can enjoy their holiday privileges. Children may be noisy and resist for the first few days, but as long as parents persist (gently but firmly), children will soon learn that noisyness is useless. Fix the homework time in the early morning 30 minutes after getting up and breakfast, when the child is in the best spirits of the day, or choose other times according to the family schedule.

(2) Warm up for the start of the school year through parent-child craft activities

Reminding children verbally that school is about to start is ineffective. Why not plan a parent-child handicraft activity? Make a stationery or greeting card with your child to send to teachers and classmates. For older children, you can work together to make a new semester plan (such as an extracurricular reading plan) and make and post it in the form of a poster. Handicraft activities will not only allow children to enjoy the fun and sense of accomplishment of hands-on production, but also arouse their expectations for the new semester.

(3) Inform children of various changes in the new semester in advance and discuss life in the new semester with them

Tell your child about the changes in the new semester in advance so that he or she can be mentally prepared. Discuss with your child what bothers him or her most about the new semester. You may hear unexpected answers. For younger children, parents can role-play to help them prepare for what will happen when school starts. For socially shy children, you can have a "brainstorming" session to help them think of topics to discuss with classmates on the first day of school. Or find a good friend in your child's class and let the two friends prepare for school together.

(4) Increase children’s sense of control and allow them to make some preparations for school on their own

If your child can do something by themselves, don't do it for them. Discuss with your child and determine one or two things they are responsible for (too many items will make them feel overwhelmed and intimidated). This can not only warm up for the start of school, but also allow children to enjoy a sense of control, helping them improve their sense of self-efficacy and self-confidence.

(5) Plan special activities for the first weekend after school starts

Children have a different sense of time than adults, and they feel that the "pain" of starting school seems to have no end. Plan a celebration for the first week of school and remind your children every day so that they have something to look forward to. The celebration can be anything your child likes, and it doesn't have to be luxurious or expensive. For example, it can be an ice cream treat that your child has always wanted, or a half-day of "game time."

Adjust your parents' status

(1) Adjust your sleep and welcome the new semester with your child

For most families, the start of school for children also means the start of school for parents. Taking advantage of the rare free time during the holidays, staying up late and sleeping in, now we have to start a busy new semester again. Whether for children or adults, lack of sleep will lead to lack of energy, low efficiency, and affect mood. Don't let a beautiful day start with a "wake-up grumpiness". Start with yourself, gradually adjust your sleep, and refuse the temptation of various electronic products before going to bed with your children.

(2) Prepare everything you need for the start of school and make arrangements for all matters in advance . Emotions are contagious. If parents feel anxious, their children will definitely be affected. Contemporary parents have to do a lot of preparation for their children to go back to school: prepare stationery, contact the school, pay fees, arrange pick-up and drop-off, plan three meals a day, tutor homework, extracurricular classes, etc. Try to avoid leaving all things on the last day. This will not only make you anxious, but also make it easy to vent your anger on your family. Try to move the start date of school forward by one day in your mind, so that you can easily "grab your bag and go" on the actual first day of school. If parents feel that they need emotional support, they should seek help from other adults and adjust their mindset.

(3) Pay attention to your child’s stress signs

Parents sometimes ignore their children's anxiety signals. If your child becomes more clingy than usual, doesn't want to go to class, cries constantly, increasingly bargains to avoid going to school, or even skips school, and exhibits regressive behaviors (sucking his fingers like a baby, can't leave his favorite stuffed toy), and these behaviors continue for a long time, then parents need to intervene and discuss some support measures with their child's teacher. It is possible that your child's behavior is not simply due to being nervous about school, but has other reasons, such as being bullied at school.

(4) Fixed time for parent-child communication

It is not easy to encourage children to open up to you. When children are willing to talk, parents must listen attentively and without judgment. Don't try to "impose" your own views on children, which often backfires. Children may have confusion and questions at any time throughout the semester, and parents' work does not end at the beginning of the school year. Set a fixed communication time every day or week and encourage children to share any ideas. This can not only prevent children from "disturbing" busy parents at any time, but also make children feel that parents are their safe haven. Add some pleasant atmosphere to each communication. People are more willing to open up when they are in a happy mood. It can be a bit awkward for two adults to sit and chat dryly, and the same is true for children.

The above is today’s sharing, let’s take action with your children!

Content support:

Author: Xu Bai, a psychology graduate student at Zhejiang University and a national second-level psychological counselor

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