The child has already committed self-harm, why do some parents still think that "he is pretending"?

A pair of parents came with their child to the psychological clinic...

The parents said firmly: "Doctor, the child cut his hand at home and said he didn't want to live. I think he just didn't want to go to school and wanted to play with his phone. In fact, the child is just lazy and always plays with his phone. As long as we return the phone to the child, his mood will be better."

During the consultation, the child sometimes kept silent and sometimes cried silently. In a hurry, he would shout: "I am not happy playing with my phone. I just don't want to go to school. I feel that life is meaningless!"

Copyright images in the gallery. Reprinting and using them may lead to copyright disputes.

Is the child threatening the parent?

When children engage in self-harm and say things like “I don’t want to live anymore,” they are not simply threatening their parents or seeking attention. Rather, it is a signal for help. They may be experiencing severe emotional distress or stress.

Every suicide is a tragic event, especially when the deceased is a child. It is not only the relatives and friends of the deceased who feel heartbroken and sad, but also the general public. Therefore, preventing child suicide is not only extremely important for families, but also one of the issues that society must prioritize.

Understanding Suicide: Why Do We Have Suicidal Thoughts?

According to statistics from the World Health Organization (WHO), more than 700,000 people die from suicide every year (one person commits suicide every 40 seconds). In 2016, the number of deaths from suicide worldwide reached 817,000, and suicide was the fourth leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 29. The detection rate of non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI) among Chinese adolescents is as high as 25%, with girls slightly higher than boys. The "China National Mental Health Development Report (2021-2022)" shows that in China, 14.8% of adolescents have varying degrees of depression risk, of which 4.0% belong to the severe depression risk group.

Regardless of the problem, the feelings and thoughts of suicidal people are often similar.

Feeling: sad, upset, lonely, helpless, hopeless, and worthless.

Thoughts: “I wish I could die,” “I can’t do anything,” “I can’t take this anymore,” “I’m a loser,” “I’m a burden,” “Others would be happier without me”…

Myths and truths about suicide

Myth 1. Kids who talk about suicide are just making threats or seeking attention

The truth: When children talk about suicide, they may be sending a signal for help, and we should take it seriously.

Myth 2: Talking about suicide triggers suicidal behavior

Fact: The right conversations can help someone with suicidal tendencies reduce anxiety and provide them with more options.

Myth 3. Suicide only happens to certain groups of people and children don’t commit suicide.

Fact: People of any age can be at risk for suicide, especially when facing stress.

Myth 4. Suicide usually happens suddenly and without warning

Fact: Before committing suicide, people usually experience obvious changes in mood and behavior.

Myth 5: Suicide is a personal choice and cannot be prevented

Fact: Suicide can be effectively prevented through a variety of measures, such as limiting the access to means of suicide, responsible media reporting, developing life skills for young people, and early identification and management of those at risk of suicide.

How to recognize suicidal signs in children?

Mood changes : becoming anxious, depressed, hopeless

Behavioral changes : academic decline, loss of interest, social withdrawal

Verbal cues : Talking about death or suicide

Risky behaviors : self-harm or risk-taking behaviors

Gifting : Giving gifts to others for no reason

Life events : experiencing family changes or increased stress from school

How to respond to the above behavior of children

Take it seriously: When children indicate that they are experiencing emotional distress, parents should take their children's words and actions seriously.

Open Communication: Create an open, non-judgmental communication environment for your child

Show that you care: Let your children know that their family and friends care about them and are willing to support them

Avoid blaming: Avoid criticizing or blaming your child, which can exacerbate their negative emotions.

Safety measures: Remove dangerous items from your home to reduce your child’s risk of self-harm

Seek help: Seek professional mental health services promptly

Suicide is preventable, and the first step to prevention is to take children's words and deeds seriously. Through the joint efforts of families, schools and society, we can create a caring and understanding growth environment for children. Children's growth path needs our joint protection. It is the responsibility of every adult to let them feel the warmth and hope of this world as much as possible. This is also the sunshine and nutrition in our hearts.

References

[1]World Health Organization. Suicide prevention. http://www.who.int/mental_health/suicide-prevention/en/

[2]Collaborators GSH, Kumar M, Lorkowski S. Global, regional, and national burden of suicide mortality 1990 to 2016: Systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2016[J]. BMJ (online), 2019, 364 (194). DOI: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.l94.

[3] Tao Mengyang, Feng Longfei, Guo Fei, et al. Meta-analysis of the detection rate and influencing factors of non-suicidal self-injury in Chinese adolescents[J]. Journal of Guangxi Medical University, 2023, 40(10): 1627-1634. DOI:10.16190/j.cnki.45-1211/r.2023.10.005.

[4] Fu Xiaolan, Zhang Kan. China National Mental Health Development Report (2021-2022)[M]. Beijing: Social Sciences Academic Press, 2023.

Planning and production

Produced by Science Popularization China

Author: Qian Hong, PhD, attending physician, Department of Child Health, Tongji Hospital, Affiliated to Tongji Medical College, Huazhong University of Science and Technology; Xu Yungang, Duan Wei, Department of Child Health, Tongji Hospital, Affiliated to Tongji Medical College, Huazhong University of Science and Technology

Producer: Chinese Medical Association

Reviewer: Hao Yan, Chief Physician of Tongji Hospital, Tongji Medical College, Huazhong University of Science and Technology

Editor: Dong Nana

Proofread by Xu Lailinlin