Why is the second child always smarter than the first child? The truth hurts...

We often hear this description from parents of second children: "The younger brother always seems to be more strategic in facing challenges and never gets discouraged easily, while the older brother is always easily irritated."

"The younger brother never gives up easily and always fights for the challenge with determination, while the older brother starts crying when he encounters a problem."

"The younger sister is always braver than the older sister. She dares to try anything and never shows any fear."

"My sister has been very good at talking since she was young. She knows how to make adults happy. She is really a little emotionally intelligent person."

Most parents who have two children may have this feeling: same parents, different children. On the surface, brothers and sisters may look similar, but their personalities and behaviors are very different.

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What’s even more interesting is that when parents get together to share their parenting experiences, they always find some hilarious “resonances”:

The eldest child is often more docile and considerate, like a little angel that makes people worry less; while the second child is more lively and naughty, and sometimes even gives parents a headache.

The eldest child seems honest and simple, sometimes a little silly; while the second child is clever and agile, better at observing people's expressions and knowing how to use the environment to please his parents.

The eldest is straightforward and honest, and sometimes speaks without restraint; while the second is more tactful, knows how to use words to make people happy, and is good at building closer relationships.

These characteristics often lead parents to a simple conclusion: "The second child seems to be smarter than the first child!"

However, are second children really smarter than the first? Why does this phenomenon seem so common? Perhaps the answer lies not in "smartness" itself, but in the subtle differences in family roles, education methods and growth environment.

Study finds that the eldest child has a higher IQ

In fact, the advantage of the eldest son in "IQ performance" has been verified by many psychological studies . Although different cultural backgrounds and family structures have different views on "the eldest son is smarter" or "the second child is smarter", in many Western countries, studies generally believe that the eldest son usually has a certain advantage in intelligence.

Psychologists Petter Kristensen and Tor Bjerkedel analyzed data from a sample of more than 240,000 brothers who were drafted into the military and found that the average IQ of the eldest son was about 3 points higher than that of the second child and about 4 points higher than that of the third child. This research result provides scientific basis for the "intelligence advantage of the eldest son."

This research result further supports the Confluence Model proposed by psychologist Robert Zajonc, which states that as the number of children in a family increases, family resources, parental attention, and cognitive stimulation received by children will gradually be diluted, resulting in the possibility that later-born children may be slightly inferior to the eldest son or daughter in intelligence . (It can also be translated as the "Confluence Model")

In other words, the first child in a family usually receives more attention, educational resources, and psychological support, while with the birth of the second and third children, the parents' energy and resources will be dispersed, resulting in the fact that the later-born children may not receive the same resources and stimulation as the eldest child in the early stages of intellectual development. Moreover, because the eldest son and daughter bear more family responsibilities, they may get more training in language expression, problem solving, social interaction, etc. These factors help improve their cognitive abilities and performance in intelligence tests.

The intelligence dilution hypothesis provides us with an interesting perspective to explain the impact that birth order may have on children's intellectual performance. However, it should be emphasized that the "intelligence performance" that the intelligence dilution hypothesis focuses on, that is , the scores in standardized intelligence tests, academic performance, and other cognitive ability assessments, does not mean that birth order determines a person's potential intelligence or cognitive ability, nor does it mean that children born later are always at a disadvantage.

Peter Christensen found in further research that if the eldest son or daughter dies, the second son or daughter (the second born child) will change their "position" in the family and become the new "eldest son or daughter", and their IQ performance will also slightly improve. For example, the original IQ score of the second son or daughter is 105, and when the eldest son or daughter dies, the second son or daughter becomes the "big brother" of the family, and their IQ score may rise slightly to 106, 107, or even higher.

This small change in IQ is not simply due to children taking on more responsibilities in the family, but is also closely related to the greater independence and leadership they are required to demonstrate in their new family roles. In fact, although the magnitude of this IQ change is usually small, it may be enough to affect children's cognitive abilities and self-perception in some cases.

Why do you think the second child is "smarter"?

Because the eldest child is born earlier, he or she often has some "natural" advantages for a period of time, such as physical strength, leading ability, and status in the family. If the second child wants to overtake, he or she must find another way and find his or her own competitive core. Fortunately, although the eldest child has more resource advantages, the second child has a unique environmental advantage.

1

Advantages of following behind to gain experience points

The second child has lived in an environment with the eldest child since birth, and has the natural conditions for "observation and learning". The eldest child is responsible for charging in the front, while the second child can pick up " experience points " in the back.

For example, when the eldest child first learns to ride a bicycle, he or she may fall down many times, and the parents may feel anxious, constantly encourage or even criticize him or her. The second child can watch how the eldest child overcomes these difficulties, learn the skills of riding a bicycle and the expectations of the parents. In this way, the second child will often be more confident when learning to ride a bicycle by himself or herself, and can avoid some of the setbacks that the eldest child has experienced.

This process of "gaining experience points" through observation and learning allows the second child to deal with problems in a more mature and efficient way in many aspects. They do not need to experience many "first times" like the first child, but can prepare in advance through observation and learning.

Because of this, the second child is often more flexible and intelligent in certain areas, and can even break through the experience limitations of the first child and form his own unique advantages. This advantage is not only reflected in skills, but also in emotional management, problem solving and social skills, allowing the second child to be at ease in different environments.

2

Advantages of more flexible parenting

The eldest child is often the first to accept social rules in the family. Because of the lack of experience and not knowing what to expect, parents are more cautious and anxious when raising the eldest child. When it comes to the second child, the first time is new, the second time is familiar. Although the personalities and needs of the two children are different, parents have accumulated experience with the eldest child and know how to deal with various problems in the child's growth process.

Therefore, when raising the second child, the parents' mentality has become more mature, they know how to relax, they are more adept at dealing with problems, and the educational methods they adopt for the second child will be correspondingly more flexible.

This is reflected in many aspects. For example, when the first child is sick, parents may be very nervous and repeatedly confirm whether to see a doctor and whether to take the right treatment. When the second child is sick, parents may be more calm and know which symptoms need attention and which ones can wait.

The accumulation of this experience allows the second child to feel more stable and secure in the family environment. This kind of "proficiency" of parents virtually provides a more optimized growth environment for the second child, allowing the second child to develop independent thinking, emotional regulation and problem-solving abilities with greater autonomy.

3

Advantages of hands-on teaching by young teachers

The eldest child often takes on the role of "teaching" younger siblings. Although many times, this kind of "teaching" is not particularly formal, such as "instructing" younger siblings to ask their parents for snacks or make trouble together, this kind of interaction also has its positive side. In fact, the eldest child often develops leadership and problem-solving skills in the process of teaching his younger siblings. Peter Christensen believes that it is this kind of "teaching and learning" that explains why eldest sons and daughters perform better in IQ tests.

At the same time, the second son and second daughter also benefited from this "teaching" process. Although they were younger, they were exposed to problem-solving strategies and ways to cope with family challenges at an early age , thus quickly "jumping out" of the limitations of their young age and lack of experience.

By observing and imitating the behavior of the eldest, the second child can learn many life skills and ways of thinking at an early age, and gradually develop more flexible thinking and adaptability. In some aspects, the second son or daughter may even show stronger innovation and problem-solving skills than the eldest son, and thus be able to "surpass the father" in the family and in life.

Conclusion

"Intellectual performance" is not the only criterion for measuring a person's "intelligence", nor is it the only key to "success". Many times, success depends more on how a person responds to challenges, how to solve problems innovatively, and how to cooperate and communicate with others. There is no absolute standard for intelligence. Every child is unique and has different talents and potentials. Whether it is the eldest or the second child, they all have their own unique growth path and advantages.

Different family environments and growth experiences have created different "smart" performances for each child in life. Therefore, success does not rely solely on intelligence, but is more reflected in how individuals can play to their strengths, overcome challenges, and realize their self-worth.

References

[1] Michael Gross. (2023). Psychology of Siblings. CITIC Publishing Group. ISBN: 9787521752052

[2] Iwai Toshikori. (2022). Adlerian Psychology Practical Handbook. CITIC Publishing Group. ISBN: 9787521748024

[3]Zajonc, RB, & Markus, GB (1975).Birth order and intellectual development.Psychological Review, 82(1), 74-88.(PDF) Birth Order and Intellectual Development

[4]Sibling Effects on School Achievement: Evidence From Two Large French Cohorts | Request PDF

[5]Integrating research and clinical care to uncover secrets of brain development | ScienceDaily

Planning and production

Author: Su Jing, National Level 2 Psychological Counselor

Reviewer: Zhang Xin, Associate Professor, School of Psychology and Cognitive Science, Peking University

Planning丨Yinuo

Editor: Yinuo

Proofread by Xu Lailinlin