The one in the friend circle is not you at all

You post pictures of delicious food you enjoyed while traveling on your Moments, but no one knows that you just refused to enter this restaurant and even had a quarrel with your friends over it. Or you can tell at first glance that the food is made of waste oil, the table is dirty, and the chef's white clothes have turned into flowery ones, but you still post pictures of tempting dishes and a great mood.

You posted your newly bought bags and clothes on your Moments, looking radiant and smiling, as if this is your golden age. But no one knows that you were just scolded by your parents, had an argument with your boyfriend, and even got rebuked by your best friend. You were extremely depressed and lay on the bed, recovering only after a few hours.

You posted a few pictures of your baby's innocent and sweet appearance on your Moments, as if your baby was an angel whenever she laughed or made noises. But no one noticed that just a few seconds ago, you were so angry that you had just cleaned up the flower pot she kicked over; the weird seasoning mixed together with salt, sugar and pepper; and the sofa that was scribbled all over with watercolor pens.

You wrote an article, saying something that many people couldn't understand, and it attracted countless likes in the circle of friends. It seemed that you were really a literary youth, a woman who was not a housewife, and a person who had escaped from vulgar tastes. But in fact, you chased the child away and let her read a book by herself, while you crossed your legs on the sofa, scratched your ears and cheeks in a coat that you couldn't wear out.

You post a few photos of yourself drinking coffee in a cafe full of flowers, wearing sunglasses and looking cool in front of the camera. No one knows that you didn't even wait for the customer, and you wasted your time. You had to squeeze into the subway to go back, and then you had to squeeze into a paper man before trying to come back a few days later.

You posted a few pictures of the sunny, blue-sky and white-cloud scenery outside the Great Wall. You opened your arms, raised your face and closed your eyes, pretending to breathe some fresh air. No one knew that you were clearly gasping for breath, with blisters on your feet, and that you had to take a clanging train at night, and work overtime until two or three in the morning for a few days after you came back.

Does it sound familiar? It’s you, the bright, gentle, domineering, good wife and mother in your circle of friends…

What we show to outsiders is always a side that is far from the truth, or a relatively beautiful side, leaving the dark, angry and helpless side to ourselves.

Would it be easier to understand the terms positive energy and negative energy? Perhaps we have been filled with negative energy for too long, and we are extremely eager for the rare positive energy, so we want to interpret the states we want and present them to others.

I know that person in the circle of friends is not you at all. We always absorb a lot of negative energy and show our best side to others. But sooner or later, you will reveal some clues, and anyone with a discerning eye can see it. If you don't believe me, just look.

Friends speak directly:

"You know who it is, right?"

"I know. We've talked but never met. He seems to be much more organized recently, and the photos he posts are pretty impressive."

"Haha... I've seen it. He has the temperament of a township leader."

"Crow's Mouth, I just serve in the township, okay?"

"You know that guy, he speaks like a counselor."

"Well, I'm a college counselor."

“…”

As I said, we can see where we spend our time. We thought we hid it well, but after being soaked in the kimchi jar for too long, it still tastes like kimchi.

I don’t know how I am perceived by others. Most people say that I am a gentle and peaceful housewife, but I know that is definitely not me.

I have told many people that I miss my internship days in Beijing. Many people don't understand why. I also wonder why. Living in Beijing, where it is not easy to live, I live in a friend's house in a shabby way. I squeeze into the bus countless times every day to go to work and interviews. I can even fall asleep while holding the handrails...

But, I will always miss you.

I miss shopping, cooking, cleaning, and chatting with friends...

I miss walking around the campuses in Beijing alone, not looking at the teaching buildings or seeing the famous teachers, but just sitting on the lawn and watching the students coming and going.

I miss taking a long-distance bus from Dongzhimen to my relatives' home in the suburbs. From the starting point to the end point, I slept all the way there and all the way back.

I miss browsing those nooks and crannies that I have heard about in books in my spare time, and daydreaming in those noisy or quiet places.

I miss walking on the wide street, having nothing but full of confidence, and most importantly, knowing where I am going.

Perhaps, what I miss are the years that can be called the golden age.

As a winner of Toutiao's Qingyun Plan and Baijiahao's Bai+ Plan, the 2019 Baidu Digital Author of the Year, the Baijiahao's Most Popular Author in the Technology Field, the 2019 Sogou Technology and Culture Author, and the 2021 Baijiahao Quarterly Influential Creator, he has won many awards, including the 2013 Sohu Best Industry Media Person, the 2015 China New Media Entrepreneurship Competition Beijing Third Place, the 2015 Guangmang Experience Award, the 2015 China New Media Entrepreneurship Competition Finals Third Place, and the 2018 Baidu Dynamic Annual Powerful Celebrity.