How do social apps play with “relationships between men and women”? Let’s take a look at these nine dimensions.
| social contact? Hook up? In the eyes of many people, social apps are synonymous with hookup tools. Some investors only look at "relationships between men and women" when they look at social networking, generally believing that this is the only way to "create strong demand, become popular quickly, and make a lot of money." But is this really the case? Originally, I was planning to continue the discussion from the previous issue, but I found that many colleagues are quite concerned about this, so I felt it necessary to talk about "sex", since food, sex and nature are all part of it. Let me get straight to the point: I personally think that to simply equate the core of social networks with hooking up is just like equating "opposite-sex attraction" in interpersonal relationships with sex. It is a generalization and crude. What is opposite sex attraction? You meet a beautiful woman (or handsome man) and chat with him or her for a while. You may not be thinking about that kind of thing in your mind, but you will feel very happy. This is the most basic attraction between the opposite sexes. For example, if you are praised by a very good-looking person of the opposite sex, you will feel very happy even if there is no possibility of that happening. This is human nature and is an instinct and impulse rooted in your genes. I remember when I first used Renren (it was called Xiaonei at that time), many female students were using it at the beginning. What prompted me, a freshman, to make up my mind to register was that a male student who was very introverted and sloppy at that time and had a very bad image (he is much better now), had many beautiful girls among his friends, who were from famous universities all over the country, and we often visited and interacted... Well, you know what I mean. Therefore, the core of social interaction is not hooking up, but it also does not mean that "you can't hook up". A completely high-end, public-to-public relationship cannot create lasting attraction. To be precise, a good social platform should give people the feeling of "being able to have sex", a hint, a hope, a vague expectation. Of course, everyone knows that there is a huge difference between being able to have sex and actually having sex. The greatest charm of socializing with the opposite sex is not making friends, having boyfriends or girlfriends, or having bed partners, as these are all too certain states. What many people yearn for in their hearts is often a kind of implicitness, an intermediate state, a gray area, which is what we often call ambiguity. Generally speaking, everyone likes ambiguity, everyone secretly desires a romantic encounter, and everyone has moments when they feel itchy. The need for attraction to the opposite sex is complex, interesting and subtle, and needs to be explored carefully. At least it should include: 1. Freshness and aesthetic pleasure, or in layman's terms, "pleasing to the eyes"; 2. The expectation of "there seems to be an opportunity", which makes life have a purpose and no longer empty; 3. The desire to pry into private affairs, you know what happened when the porn photos scandal happened; 4. The pleasure of adventurous impulses, ambiguous offense and defense, and push-pull tactics; 5. Love, the more you invest in emotion, the more you have a sense of meaning, connection and self-sacrifice; 6. Being loved, understood, respected, tolerated and recognized, because of a kind of resonance that warms the mind; 7. Vanity, nothing can satisfy this better than the attention and appreciation of the opposite sex; 8. A sense of conquest, in a broad sense; 9. Finally, there is the impulse of shame. Spring is here. In this season when hormones are stirring, in this time when those born after 1995 and 2000 are growing up vigorously, it is time for our social apps to make a difference. Dear product brothers, jump out of the abyss of codes and algorithms, forget about functions and profits for a while, and ignore the cold eyes of your bosses and RDs - take a walk on the campus, relive the feeling of your student days among the forest trails and flying cherry blossoms. When a group of girls walk by with their silver bell-like laughter, do you still remember the throbbing deep in your heart? Social apps that are directly positioned as "hooking up" and skirting the line of pornography certainly make money quickly, but bottlenecks also come quickly, and the risk of touching the policy red line is greatly increased. If you want to have a bigger and longer-term layout, you still have to simmer slowly over low heat. So how do we evaluate a social app’s score in the area of “opposite-sex encounters” and how do we design an app that is more suitable for interactions with the opposite sex? As a product novice who had difficulty interacting with the opposite sex when he was a child, I have downloaded and tried hundreds of social apps in the past six months. After communicating with young people born in the 1990s from all walks of life and with all kinds of tastes, I have summarized nine dimensions and would like to share them with you. 1. Can the efficiency of search matching facilitate searching for more opposite sexes? Can you find the person you want among such a huge crowd of people? For example: use Momo to search for people nearby and filter them by various conditions; use Maimai to search for people from different companies, and use Renren to search for people from different schools; use Bilin and Tantan to randomly match strangers; apps like Xindou, Guess Me, and Xiangli can match people by interests and personalities; apps that focus on models, celebrities, photo shoots, and dancing have an obvious atmosphere. 2. Segmentation of user groups Birds of a feather flock together. Apart from basic IM, it is almost impossible for a social app to satisfy all users at the same time. It must have its own positioning and style, or "tone" in the popular sense, to cater to a certain type of user. Even so, these users still have completely different personality preferences, experience structures, and cultural traditions... If they are mixed together, they will inevitably fall into a melee, leading to information overload and an avalanche of users fleeing. This is especially important for apps that emphasize social interaction between men and women. Although we do not agree that men and women must be of equal social status when interacting with each other, if the gap in social status is too great, this kind of social interaction will definitely bring strong feelings of discomfort and frustration, causing otaku men and women to lose interest and uninstall the app one by one. For example: QQ and Momo are differentiated based on groups; the girls on Momo are “available” by default; Douban and Zhihu target literary and intellectual young people, while Renren and QQ Space target the unscrupulous young people. 3. Safe distance In Maslow's hierarchy of needs, security is the most basic need after survival. This is especially important in social interactions between men and women, especially women who are very worried about the invasion of their privacy and personal space. And we all know that in general, the value of female users is always several times that of male users. A social app must build a buffer zone to provide the necessary moat for both parties. For example: Maimai’s three-level authentication mechanism: initial friends can view each other’s updates, intermediate friends can know contact information, and deep friends can provide recommendations and endorsements. Wu Mi, through various safety designs, allows you to boldly expose your dark self. Beibei, randomly match strangers, the photos will be mosaiced at the beginning, chat with the stranger for eight sentences, the photos will gradually appear, and you can decide whether you know them. The WeChat Moments has a closed relationship chain, and friends’ comments can only be seen by me and our mutual friends. 4. The difference in the display space of values and demands is the prerequisite for communication, and the matching of values and demands is the driving force for the continuous deepening of social interaction. On social networks, such values and demands are often "mismatched". You must establish a stable display mechanism so that both parties can discover each other in a timely manner, continue to pay attention to each other, and naturally get to know each other in depth. For example: On Momo, boys post photos of their steering wheels, and girls post photos of their faces. Boys satisfy the thrill of hunting for beauties and chatting them up, while girls satisfy the pleasure of being pursued and watching idiots; the "labels" on Maimai include VC, founder, online education... girls make requests in "Uncle, please help me" and "Oh my God", and men satisfy their wishes while thinking "haha"; girls on Nice post beautiful photos to impress boys and at the same time direct traffic to their own purchasing business. 5. The difficulty of breaking the ice. You can find so many opposite sexes, but with how many can you “start” a chat, with how many can you really strike up a conversation, and with how many can you develop a deeper conversation and even...? This is the problem of ice-breaking methods. Social platforms must use a series of valuable scenarios and topics to allow the ice-breaking between men and women to happen naturally. This has been analyzed in detail in the second issue of Product Rookie, so I won’t repeat it today. For example: In traditional social networks, for group-based icebreakers, if you are embarrassed to have a one-on-one private chat with the other party, just have a group chat first; for Pengpeng and Beibei, for game-based icebreakers, just play a game first to get to know each other. A hug, any expression of emotion can trigger social interaction. 6. The space for continuous interaction gives both parties a reason to allow the relationship to continue naturally, and provides a platform for men and women to let their hormones ferment naturally. Spontaneously and continuously create activities and events to keep this contact going and heating up. For example: The great feed stream system brought by Facebook, friends are constantly posting updates, so socializing around updates comes naturally; in Huhuohu, updates will automatically become messages in a bottle sent to strangers, and the topic of truth or dare will gradually deepen; on Maimai, there is continuous interaction in the name of work. 7. The ambiguous atmosphere creates an ambiguous and implicit atmosphere from the perspective of style positioning, which gives people a sense of nostalgia. It is neither boring and rigid, nor simple and crude. Then, continue to strengthen this atmosphere through functions, interactions, content, activities, KOLs and other elements in a consistent manner. It is not easy to achieve this. It must conform to the normal aesthetic taste of the majority of high-quality girls and male gods, and it must also stimulate people's little thoughts from time to time, burning out the left and right brains to achieve the right effect. For example: Renren (Xiaonei) has had the unique "sexiness" of campus since its inception. The overall style is as simple, clean and fresh as its UI, but various elements such as beautiful pictures of campus beauties and shameless dirty jokes... continue to stimulate you who love learning and make your mind wander; Douban, originally exchanging books and movies, is a hobby of excellent female students, white-collar workers, and literary youths, and the strangely named Douban groups make all this continue to ferment; Taqu (formerly cost-effective), highing, PP Voice, Meiliyue... It is hard not to get excited on such a platform; on the opposite side, there is a virtual kingdom composed of various single games. 8. The difficulty of converting into an offline relationship. Whether it is a one-night stand or an online relationship, it can only be considered a "successful relationship" when you meet in person. Otherwise, to paraphrase a saying, "In the online world, you never know if the person you are chatting with is a dog." In the era of mobile Internet, the easier it is for LBS-based applications to be converted offline, the higher the expectations they give people. For example: an activity system of inviting you to dinner, making an appointment with you, micro-gathering, etc., where the appointments are reasonable and voluntary, the reasons are righteous, and everyone knows what is going on, and it can also connect O2O with offline merchants; when watching a movie, you can find someone who is watching the same show with no one around. 9. Diversity in satisfying needs People’s needs in social situations are diverse, especially between “talented men and beautiful women”. It is subtle and complex and cannot be described in words, and is full of hesitation and uncertainty, so the product’s cutting point and design must be cleverly balanced. First, the structure of needs satisfaction is balanced, and one need cannot be harmed by another. It fails to satisfy the desire for voyeurism, hurts the sense of security, satisfies the impulse to hunt for beauty, and hurts the real reputation and dignity. Secondly, this kind of satisfaction is cheaper and more efficient than in real life, and it may even be impossible to satisfy in real life. By using Meitu XiuXiu, girls with average looks can become goddesses that are "watched" on social networks. Write an article, and even boys who are not very eloquent in real life will have girls appreciate their talent. Again, the process of needs satisfaction is gradual and becomes increasingly addictive. If you want to meet many high-quality people of the opposite sex, this is very easy, there are algorithms and they can be matched. If you want to show your charm and value, this is also not difficult. But if you want to have in-depth interactions with certain people, there will be many barriers. This is just like the feeling that Green Tea girls give people. At the beginning, they will use various eyes, sighs, words, and micro-expressions to hint to you, as if she treats you differently from others, but if you are really attracted to her, you will be immediately trapped and fall into the quagmire. From the ease of establishing social relationships to the smoothness of social attraction, and then to the difficulty of deep relationships, from simple to complex, pain and surprise alternate, this is a process of continuous attraction. Finally, always put the needs of female users first. It is said that one female user can bring in seven male users. A social APP that is completely masculine in mind and cannot handle the complexity and delicacy of young girls will never achieve much in terms of stickiness with the opposite sex. For example, Douban and Zhihu, which satisfy the little thoughts in the name of literary youth; Momo, even girls with average looks can witness all kinds of idiots trying to pick them up; WeChat, after being whitewashed, people who use WeChat are no longer seen as "improper", although they can still use Shake and Nearby People. It should be noted that the above nine points are not in a relationship of precedence or follow-up, but are organically integrated together. Otherwise, if you continue to follow the steps one by one, our "impatient" users will have already lost "interest" and turned to other apps. Freud said that sex is the most primitive driving force of all human behavior. Yes, the charm of sex is omnipresent. Before entrepreneurs of social networks tell stories and create concepts in a grandiose way, they might as well try out their own products to see how many people of the opposite sex they can meet and whether they can have sex with them. As mentioned earlier, "sex" is a systematic project in social interaction. Don't expect to solve the problem through "one-time matching". What you need to do is to build a long-term platform to allow the attraction and pursuit of the opposite sex to continue to ferment freely and romantically. Many times, a product is like a mirror, and seeing the product is like seeing the person. It is late at night now, the head screen is open, and when all kinds of colors come flooding in, do you see a lonely, frightened, and empty heart? |
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