If I had to choose only one between a cat (dog) and a boyfriend, I would choose...

In recent years, I have been surprised to find that pets are becoming more and more popular among my female friends. Many studies have also shown that in contemporary Chinese cities, the lifestyle of keeping pets is becoming more and more common. The 2018 China Pet Industry Report pointed out that the number of households with pets in China increased from 69.3 million in 2013 to 99.8 million in 2018, and the number has continued to rise in recent years.

The report also shows that, regardless of whether they are cats or dogs, the majority of pet owners are women (60% are women), the age of pet owners is getting younger, and 80% are college graduates.

These interesting phenomena prompted us to conduct a study focusing on the relationship between Chinese urban women and their pets. So far, we have interviewed more than 40 women, most of whom are young, single, and highly educated urban middle-class women.

This research was published in Urban Studies. Although it was written in English, it quickly became one of my most popular research projects in recent years, probably because many readers were as curious as I was:

Why do more and more urban women keep pets?

What role do pets play in their lives?

In this article, we will answer the above two questions based on the information obtained from the interviews.

Discovery 1:

Pets are one of the important sources of security for urban middle-class women.

Almost all female respondents said that pets are very "healing" and can provide key spiritual comfort in their busy and empty urban lives, and even become their emotional pillar of "holding on". Although the cost of raising pets (especially purebred cats and dogs) is increasing, they said they don't care. Instead, they feel that as long as their cats or dogs can live a happy and stable life, they don't mind no matter how hard or tired they are.

The story of Gigi (26 years old, Shanghai, real estate agent) is very typical. Gigi described her cat "Youyou" as coming into her life when her life was completely "out of control". In 2020, Gigi's life took a 180-degree turn. At that time, she had just graduated with a master's degree. Because of the epidemic, her original plan to study abroad and continue her studies was completely disrupted. In order to be close to social life and to make a living, she entered an industry she didn't like - the real estate agency industry, which has making money as its primary goal. However, in 2021, the real estate market was hit hard. This job not only failed to meet her expectations of making money, but also made her feel many subtle dark sides of human nature.

The saddest thing is that she and her family have completely fallen out, because like many conservative parents, Gigi's parents want her to take the civil service exam, or work in an administrative position in a public institution, and get married and have children as soon as possible. This is very different from Gigi's own plan. Gigi does not think that getting married and having children as soon as possible is the meaning of life, nor does she think that "easy-to-marry" jobs are attractive, but her current job often makes her feel miserable. She wants to find her own way, but this road is very painful.

Gigi described her worst days as "a fog in front of my eyes" and struggling to get out of bed. The work of a real estate agent requires emotional investment and the maintenance of interpersonal relationships. Often at 10 or 11 p.m., clients start asking questions about real estate after work, and she needs to respond to messages and interact with clients in a timely manner.

The arrival of the cat healed Gigi. She said: "After the cat arrived, I named him Youyou, hoping to have everything I want in life." Before raising Youyou, Gigi had never thought that she would like cats so much, and in order to take care of the cat, she knew that she had the responsibility of "raising a family." She said: "I brought the cat home. Raising it is undoubtedly my need, and of course I have to be responsible for it."

We often hear Gigi mention the "healing" function of pets and the "responsibility" of taking care of pets from other interviewees.

For example, Wenwen, a 31-year-old designer, said: "My cats make me more determined to live a better life and make more money so that they can live with me for 10 or 20 years. I need to make money to take care of their daily lives and give them good care when they are sick. I just calculated how much I need to buy for them. The epidemic makes me worry that my income will be reduced this year. In order to take better care of him, I must cheer up! After get off work today, I will order 20 kilograms of cat food."

Like Wenwen, most of the interviewees regard pets as an important value support in their work and life.

Leng Leng (34 years old, Beijing-Sydney, construction engineer) is also like Gigi and Wenwen. Although she is not satisfied with her job, she decides to "reconcile" with the many unsatisfactory things at work because she wants to raise a big golden retriever named Lan Lan at home.

The relationship between women and pets is not a one-way giving. Pets also give a lot of love and support to urban women.

For example, Tina (34 years old, Wuhan, university teacher) is very busy at work. As a "young professor", she spends most of her time typing in front of the computer. She described that when she is typing frantically, her cat will be obedient and quiet beside her; the magical thing is that as long as she closes the computer, or even without closing the computer, as long as she slightly leaves the mouse and closes Word, the cat will immediately sense that she has finished work and will come over to ask for food.

S (36 years old, a state-owned enterprise employee) mentioned a very touching moment between her and her cat Vic in an interview. Vic is usually a "cold" cat who doesn't like to cling to people, but on the night when S had a miscarriage, Vic seemed to feel her physical and mental fragility and climbed onto the bed to accompany S very intimately. Such companionship and attention are probably difficult for many couples to do.

Discovery 2:

Women have positive relationships with their pets. Among the diverse pure relationships, cats and dogs appear.

Anthony Giddens proposed the concept of "pure relationship" in his masterpiece "The Transformation of Intimacy: Sex, Love and Eros in Modern Society". Pure relationship refers to the democratic intimate relationship established by modern men and women, men and men, or women and women after they get rid of religious dogma and secular traditions; Giddens also predicted that pure relationship will become the ultimate expression of the independent spirit of modern people.

Our research confirms and develops Giddens's statement to some extent: the respondents all regard their pets as their own relatives. The most common pets are cats, followed by dogs. The respondents describe their relationship with cats and dogs as "mother and son", "mother and daughter" and "sisters".

One of the interviewees, Ms. Zhang (36 years old, a state-owned enterprise employee), described her current family structure as follows: "I am now living the life of a normal middle-aged woman. I live with my mother, my girlfriend, the aunt who takes care of my mother, and a dog and a cat. I am now the head of the family (laughs)."

Our research also shows that more and more men and women nowadays keep pets together. Pets are often given by men to their lovers as gifts, and the competition for the right to keep (or ownership of) pets has become a new issue that many couples need to deal with after breaking up.

About 5 years ago, the golden retriever Lan Lan entered Leng Leng's life. There is a tortuous story behind this. Leng Leng's family was not happy. As an adult, she had a distant relationship with her parents and had no plans to get married or have children. In order to cultivate Leng Leng's "interest" in forming a nuclear family, her ex-boyfriend bought a golden retriever as a gift for her.

The ex-boyfriend's motive initially angered Leng Leng, who thought that this man did not do what he should do to convince her to get married (such as receiving psychological treatment with her and exploring the possibility of diverse intimate relationships), but instead put the cart before the horse. Later, Leng Leng ended her relationship with the ex-boyfriend, but took over the golden retriever Lan Lan.

Leng Leng and Lan Lan now get along well. In Leng Leng's own words, "I am a very responsible person. I will raise that man to the end even if I shed tears." Leng Leng's way of raising Lan Lan is very "precious". He uses the best feed, buys the best toys, and provides medical insurance for it. "Within my ability, I want to give it the best," Leng Leng said. Lan Lan's love and protection for Leng Leng are also incomparable: when Leng Leng is overwhelmed by work, Lan Lan seems to feel it and walks to her side to give her care.

The issue of who owns the right to keep a pet after a breakup/divorce is a microcosm of the current changes in gender relations in China.

Lila (31 years old, Guangzhou, university teacher) also experienced such a "bloody" story. When they broke up, Lila's ex-boyfriend took away the cat they raised together at the time because he thought that Lila would not think of him after the breakup, but would feel sad and heartbroken because of thinking of the cat. In order to retain the ability to make Lila feel sad and heartbroken, he insisted on taking the cat away. Lila described this breakup story as an unforgettable "trauma".

Not long after, Lila bought a cat of the same breed and named it Auggie. This time, no one could separate the mother and son. Lila treated Auggie with an attitude of pampering, raising it with all the best materials. Moreover, she called her parents Auggie's grandparents. This matter was very unacceptable to her parents at first. In her parents' words, "They are so old and still not married, and they have a cat to call us grandparents!" However, people's true feelings can naturally move the iceberg. Now, whenever Auggie has a birthday or is sick, his grandparents will send him a WeChat red envelope. Lila said, "I still want to publish a paper with my cat, and sign it (Auggie, Liu)."

Like Leng Leng and Lila, many other interviewees have created space in their urban homes to keep pets. If they need to buy a property or move, they will first consider the living conditions of their pets.

For example, Cheng (26 years old, Guangzhou, hospital research assistant) decorated his 30-square-meter home very cozy. Cheng's living room area is divided into two parts: one half is Cheng's own space, with a packed desk, a fabric sofa, a coffee table covered with a tablecloth, and a vase on the coffee table with some beautiful flowers. On the other side is the cat's litter box toilet, the cat's food bowl, the cat's water dispenser, and the cat's cat climbing frame. In addition to the bed and wardrobe, Cheng's bedroom also has a cat climbing frame and a litter box toilet. According to Cheng himself, the whole house is actually shared with the cat, and it is the cat's playground.

Finding 3:

Pets are great helpers for their hostesses to socialize and express themselves online.

At present, urban women who keep pets love to post photos of their pets on social media such as WeChat Moments, Douyin, and Douban. If they can't think of any photos to post on WeChat Moments, they will choose to use pets to express themselves. There are many reasons for this. On the one hand, short videos and social media are full of pet-related content, and people may post them themselves after seeing them too much. On the other hand, social media, especially WeChat Moments, is no longer a purely private area, and the love of pets is indeed universal and not easily controversial.

Tina (34 years old, Wuhan, university teacher) described the reason as follows: "I once posted some opinions on WeChat Moments that seemed radical to others, which caused some disputes. I don't like quarrels in WeChat Moments, so I stopped posting my opinions there. Because pet pictures are relatively value-free and not likely to cause controversy, I post more of them."

Another interviewee, Stephanie (42 years old, Guangzhou, university teacher), has a Moments that better reflects the value she places on photos of her pets. Her WeChat profile picture is her beloved cat, and her Moments background picture is a photo of feminist theorist Simone de Beauvoir. In Stephanie's mind, cats are the animals that understand and respect women the most. "In my eyes, a relationship with a cat is an ideal relationship. She loves you and keeps you company, but she doesn't have many demands on you. Cats are the only pets that are both independent and can be a family member with you!" Stephanie said.

Interviewee Stephanie’s WeChat Moments

Another interviewee of this project, Cross (36 years old, Guangzhou, university teacher), even posted photos of pets on her teaching PPT to communicate with students. She said: "I will look at my students' homework like 'my cat looks at me', sometimes objectively and seriously, sometimes affectionately, and sometimes silly and cute. I share the photos of my three cats with my classmates to let them feel that I value their papers!" This teaching method is deeply loved by students.

The interviewee Cross put photos of his pets in his lecture PPT

Among our interviewees, 26 used photos of cats and dogs as their WeChat profile pictures. Their Moments were also full of photos of furry animals. These photos often received more "likes" and "comments". Sometimes, when others wanted to chat with them, they would start by asking about their pets.

This is an era of new things, and the changes and constants of people reflected behind things need more attention and understanding. The relationship between pets and people is a topic worthy of attention.

Young people today call themselves "social animals" and call cats and dogs "masters". They relieve stress and loneliness by petting cats and dogs. Women who are unwilling to compromise themselves in marriage choose economic and emotional independence and gain intimacy from pets. Gradually, the connection of intimate relationships does not only exist between people, and the boundaries of the family are not immutable.

Our interviewees generously shared with us their lives, work, intimate relationships, and the role of pets in these relationships. We deeply felt that pets have fully entered the lives of contemporary urban middle-class women.

Pets become women's family, friends, and even spiritual pillars. Keeping a pet is a need of the self, and pets can heal all kinds of stress and fatigue. Keeping a pet also means a responsibility. While paying, you are also learning how to love it, and gain inner fulfillment and satisfaction in the process. In the interaction with pets, the owner is also experiencing "seeing pets, seeing all living beings, and seeing himself."

References

[1]Tan, CK, Liu, T., & Gao,

Author: Liu Tingting, Gao Xiaojun

Editor: You Shiyou, Cloud

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