【Creative Cultivation Program】The older you get, the happier you are? What are our misunderstandings about “old people”?

Author: Tang Yicheng

When we think of getting old, we often think of "weakness, illness, loneliness" and so on, and feel very worried. In fact, we have many cognitive misunderstandings about old age. This article will help you to re-understand old age from a psychological perspective and share ways to have a good old age.

Aging may be a kind of indoctrinated concept

Perhaps, the phenomenon of aging does not exist at all. Ellen Langer, a psychologist at Harvard University, is a professor of psychology at Harvard University and the first woman to obtain a professorship in the Department of Psychology at Harvard University. She did an interesting study. She asked two groups of elderly people to live in a "time capsule" they arranged. The place was decorated exactly as it was 20 years ago. - Newspapers, music, movies, and situation comedies from the 1950s. The only difference between the two groups was that one group had to try to "pretend" that they were living in 1959 and had to express themselves in modern tense; the other group could use past tense, and they discussed what happened in 1959 in a nostalgic way. After a week, the vision, hearing, memory, and blood pressure of both groups had greatly improved. What's more interesting is that the group of elderly people who pretended to be in 1959 were in better health, and some of them even played rugby. Although this study has aroused a lot of doubts. But it is certain that these elderly people believed that they were 20 years younger within a week, and their bodies responded accordingly. It can be seen from this that although aging is a normal physiological process, it may to some extent be an indoctrinated concept. The weakness, helplessness and illness of the elderly are often a kind of learned helplessness. A correct understanding of this phenomenon will help improve the lives of the elderly.

At the same time, the definition of old age has also gradually changed with the development of the times. The international research organization Wavemaker conducted in-depth interviews with more than 2,000 middle-aged and elderly people living in China's first- to third-tier cities and found that if the middle-aged and elderly people were allowed to define their own age boundaries, they would think that people would enter middle age at the age of 49, and enter old age at the age of 66. In other words, those under 49 are young people, and those under 66 are middle-aged. The official definition of middle-aged people is over 40 years old, and the definition of elderly people is over 60 years old. Wavemaker has given this phenomenon a name, called "aging procrastination."

In fact, "aging procrastination" suggests that perhaps the concept of old age is also being deconstructed. In Wavemaker's survey, 58% of respondents believed that their mental age was younger than their actual age, and 33% believed that their appearance was also younger than their actual age. They are very confident and optimistic about their health, and nearly 60% of them believe that their health is good or very good. In other words, the middle-aged and elderly believe that the age thresholds of "middle age" and "old age" need to be redefined, which may also be due to the fact that the material living conditions are getting better and better, allowing them to maintain vigorous vitality for a longer time, both physically and mentally.

You might not guess... Older people are more likely to feel happy

Perhaps this conclusion will refresh your cognition even more - people are happier after aging. Psychologists conducted a follow-up experiment, and the ages of the subjects ranged from 18 to 94 years old. The researchers gave each subject a pager and asked them to carry it with them 24 hours a day within a week. During this week, they will be randomly called 35 times and then tell their mood at the time. This tracking is updated every 5 years. The results show that compared with young people, the elderly are less anxious, depressed, and angry, and are happier more often. Since aging does not make the elderly unhappy, instead of focusing on their pain, it is better to find ways to make their lives happier.

What's more interesting is that older people can even get more pleasure from sex. Researchers from Indiana University also found that as people age, they are more able to get pleasure from sex. They found that women in their 40s and 50s are more likely to reach orgasm during sex than in their 20s and 30s. This may be related to the fact that as age and time together increase, both partners understand and respect each other's preferences better. At the same time, most older people have a high degree of satisfaction with their sex life. A study from the University of California, San Diego found that among older women (average sample age 67), more than 60% were satisfied with their sex life, and nearly 70% said they could reach orgasm frequently.

Of course... growing older also has physical and mental risks - the widowhood effect

You may often hear such things: a relative in your hometown passed away, and soon after his/her spouse also passed away. This situation is not an isolated case, but a manifestation of the widowhood effect. The widowhood effect, also known as the "broken heart syndrome", refers to the fact that the risk of death of the elderly (most of the subjects of related studies are people over 50 years old) increases sharply after the death of their long-term partner. In particular, within three months after the death of their partner, the risk of death of the elderly will increase by nearly one-fold. The reason why the widowhood effect occurs is that losing a long-term spouse means a dramatic change in life. Studies have shown that losing a spouse is the most stressful life event, followed by divorce, moving, major illness and unemployment. Elderly couples have been with each other for a long time. They have experienced many hardships together and have become closer. At the same time, from taking care of their sick spouse to the death of their spouse, the elderly's social activities will decrease, which makes them have nowhere to vent their pain. Therefore, elderly couples will be more sad after losing their spouse.

The widowhood effect also has gender differences, and elderly men find it more difficult to adapt after losing their spouse. Men are less likely to seek help from others after losing their spouse. This "self-reliance" attitude prevents them from recognizing their own emotions and seeking help from family, friends or professionals. "Women are not only more willing to seek help from others, but also more likely to find people with similar experiences as themselves. Therefore, for widowed elderly people, they need to be helped to establish social relationships. During the period of self-adjustment, widowed elderly people need someone to be their role model, which includes accepting their own sadness and facing the difficulties of reality.

How to spend a happy old age?

Improving the quality of life in old age requires creativity. Research shows that creative expression is closely related to positive aging for three main reasons: a sense of control, social participation, and brain plasticity. In the process of creation, we experience a sense of mastering something new. The creative process usually involves not only social participation, but also changes the brain through the formation of new synapses, thereby enhancing brain reserves. At the same time, we can try to get in touch with people of different ages, which will help break our single, one-sided, and negative impressions of aging. When we become more familiar with the changes in life, our views on aging will become more comprehensive and complex. When fear and anxiety decrease, behaviors to cope with aging will tend to become more flexible and proactive. Finally, the saying "love is enough to satisfy one's hunger" is not just talk. A Harvard University study spanning 80 years shows that close relationships are the reason for people's lifelong happiness. These bonds can protect people from dissatisfaction in life, help delay physical and mental decline, and can better predict people's longevity and happiness.

We hope that we can all live a life where we have someone to rely on, something to contribute to, and something to enjoy in our old age, so that old age can become the most precious gift in life.

References

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This article is produced by the Science Popularization China-Creation Cultivation Program. Please indicate the source when reprinting