Is it a problem for babies to suck their fingers? Don’t stop your baby from “tasting” the world with his mouth

People often say that "a child's hands are full of honey", and babies who love to suck their fingers are smart.

Every time I see babies sucking their fingers, I wonder what magic fingers have that makes them eat with such relish. It was not until I learned about the "oral stage" that I realized that the core of sucking fingers is not the fingers, but the mouth, which is used to explore the world and satisfy psychological needs through sucking.

Most babies will experience the process of sucking their thumbs. For parents, this "little thing" of sucking their thumbs has always been a double-edged sword. When babies don't suck their thumbs, they worry that they are developmentally delayed; when they do suck their thumbs, they worry that it is unhygienic and that they will become dependent on it and it will be difficult to stop them, leading to poor development of their teeth and fingers.

Image source: Tuchong Creative

So, should we stop children from sucking their thumbs?

Oral stage, from the primitive desire impulse of human beings

When a newborn arrives, the main issue he or she faces is growth and development.

In order to facilitate understanding of the developmental characteristics of infants and young children at different stages, people have given different stages various names such as the growth spurt, the milk aversion period, and the teething period. Most of these are derived from the physical development changes of infants and young children, but there is one stage that is more special. It is based on the psychological characteristics of infants and young children to identify their living habits, namely the "oral stage".

The psychologist Freud proposed this concept. He believed that the infantile period from 0 to 1 year old is the oral stage, also called the lip stage, where satisfaction is obtained through oral sex. (After this, the personality development of infants will also go through the anal stage, where satisfaction is obtained through defecation, and the sexual bud stage, where sexual consciousness begins to develop.)

In addition to using their mouths to meet their daily dietary needs, babies in the oral stage also use their mouths to explore and feel the world. They use licking and sucking to sense and recognize the shape, temperature and other characteristics of the surrounding objects. They also use their mouths to build relationships with people around them and express their emotions. Therefore, during this period, babies will show some oral-related behaviors, such as eating their fingers, biting things, sucking their lips, drooling, etc.

The oral stage defined by Freud actually belongs to the category of psychoanalysis. It is a statement summarized based on the psychological representation of adults and tracing back their experiences during their upbringing.

Although this theory was not developed with infants and young children as the main research subjects, it is quite popular in contemporary parenting environments because new parents are "scared" by the consequences presented by the adults studied by Freud.

For example, if the sucking needs are not fully satisfied during the oral stage, the child may become fond of biting, gluttony, pica, verbal aggression, etc. in adulthood. On the contrary, if the needs are oversatisfied, the child may develop anorexia, partial eclipse, less talkativeness, etc. in adulthood. Knowing such "consequences", anyone would be nervous!

There is actually a theoretical time point for thumb sucking during the oral stage, that is, most children's interest in thumb sucking gradually decreases at 8 to 9 months. Note that it is just the beginning of the decrease, and it may recur. You can compare your baby's thumb sucking frequency to see whether it has decreased or increased, so as to determine whether intervention is needed.

During the oral stage, even if you want to stop your baby from sucking his thumb, you cannot use overly intense and harsh means that cause serious conflicts, such as loudly scolding or beating. Otherwise, it will easily leave a "knot in the baby's heart", causing him to develop a stubborn preference for thumb sucking and regressive behavior.

Protect your baby's curiosity, starting with sucking your fingers

When it comes to whether to stop babies from sucking their fingers, people like to give the example that "sucking fingers is a skill that babies have had since the womb and can bring pleasure" to prove why babies should not be stopped from sucking their fingers during the oral stage. Indeed, sometimes through B-ultrasound images, you can see the fetus sucking its fingers, but in fact, there is a confusion between two concepts here.

The sucking reflex of the fetus is a biological instinct that is innate. Monkeys, kittens, lions and other mammals also have the "sucking reflex". After the baby is born, we touch the baby's lips with our fingers, and a natural sucking reflex will appear, which disappears in about 3 to 4 months. Many elderly people like to use this trick to test whether the newborn baby is hungry, but in fact, this is an unconditional reflex and cannot be used as a criterion for judging hunger and fullness.

What we are worried about, the problem of babies sucking their fingers during the oral stage, is, as mentioned earlier, a psychological concept. Babies satisfy their instinctive needs through oral exploration and sucking, including seeking a sense of security and intimacy.

After clarifying these two concepts, it will be meaningful for us to discuss whether babies need to be stopped from sucking their thumbs. In fact, the key lies in each parent's weighing of the pros and cons of thumb sucking.

The benefits of thumb sucking are obvious, it can satisfy desire and curiosity, and promote development; however, there are risks as well, there is a certain probability that it will be difficult to quit, resulting in uneven teeth, deformed fingers, and poor appearance. In this regard, parenting experts have cleverly proposed a neutral solution - do not interfere too much with thumb sucking before the age of 2, observe the degree of dependence after the age of 2 and intervene accordingly, and if the thumb sucking is still serious at the age of 4, let the doctor intervene.

This proposal seems very reasonable to me.

Infancy is the peak period of physical development. Any behavior that helps children's physical and mental development should be allowed to happen objectively and tolerantly. As Liu Chunyang, chief physician of the Children's Health Center of Beijing Children's Hospital, said, when a baby can put his hands in his mouth, it means that the baby's motor muscles and muscle control ability can cooperate and coordinate with each other. We cannot affect the baby's muscle development by preventing him from sucking his hands.

During the infant and toddler stage, the more dexterous the baby is in sucking his thumb, the more it indicates that the baby's muscle groups and brain are well developed. On the contrary, if the baby has no awareness of sucking his thumb, this may be something to worry about and pay attention to, and we need to judge whether it is normal based on the overall developmental status.

As they grow older, babies can satisfy their desire for exploration and their emotions through objects other than their hands, such as toys and more food. After having more experiences with objects that can satisfy their oral desires, they will gradually lose interest in sucking their fingers.

What parents need to do is to protect their children's curiosity, meet their needs, and wait and see what happens. At the same time, they must also be mentally prepared to deal with situations where thumb sucking is difficult to quit, and intervene in a timely manner.

In order to help babies smoothly pass through the oral stage and reduce the risk of thumb sucking dependence, new parents can prepare soothing toys, teethers and other safe and chewable items to enrich the types of things that babies can "taste". At the same time, you should also pay attention to helping your baby wash his hands frequently to keep his hands clean; babies in the oral stage also drool a lot, so pay attention to the dryness around the lips and apply saliva cream to prevent drool rash.

After fully understanding the pros and cons of thumb sucking during the oral stage, I believe you will have a more accurate judgment of your baby. If you see your baby sucking his thumb again, don't treat it as a big enemy and interrupt him rudely. Let him quietly get to know his little hands and satisfy that little need!

References:

A psychoanalytic theory of growth across the lifespan

Psychological factors of bad oral habits in young children

Three stages of sex education for babies

The article is produced by Science Popularization China-Starry Sky Project (Creation and Cultivation). Please indicate the source when reprinting.

Author: TUTU Mama Science Creator

Reviewer: Tang Yicheng, deputy director of Beijing Zhongke Popular Psychological Health Promotion Center