The Silent “Zombie Relationships” on WeChat

Last summer, I wrote down the structure and ideas of this article in the memo on my phone. However, due to various trivial matters and occasional laziness, this article has been shelved. In the past six months, social relationships based on WeChat seem to have undergone subtle changes. Recently, there have been an increasing number of articles reflecting on the impact of social platforms such as WeChat on people. It is time to see the essence through the phenomenon.

When we are getting more and more tired of dealing with the information on WeChat that has nothing to do with me but I am "forced to read", the picture that keeps flashing in my mind is: a person with an unclear face stands in the center of the stage and performs alone. It is pitch black around him, and he is only accompanied by the light of the spotlight. This person is sometimes intoxicated, sometimes lost, sometimes anxious, sometimes expectant, and sometimes calm. Occasionally, applause can be heard in the dark, but he does not know who the audience is. He hums his own rhythm and dances again...

When using WeChat, perhaps many people have experienced this state of mind and state. Today, social relationships based on WeChat have indeed changed significantly. Initially, most of the circles on WeChat were small circles, consisting of relatives and friends. This kind of relationship is a strong relationship, and most of them are relationships in real life. This kind of relationship is very stable. Even if WeChat is not used, this strong relationship can still be maintained by other means. As WeChat has become more and more a tool for professional social networking, work scope, and marketing, a person's circle has indeed expanded from the original simple strong relationship circle to a larger range of circles, and even more cross-circles. This kind of circle is based on weak relationships and is not maintained by emotions. It is only to meet work, professional social needs, marketing purposes, etc.

As a result, the social circles based on the WeChat platform eventually formed two types of relationships: real strong-relationship social circles, and weak relationships temporarily built based on certain interest needs.

The more WeChat is used for work communication, professional circle social networking, marketing promotion, etc., the greater the proportion of weak relationship circles will be, and the more real the picture described above will be. In fact, the real reason why people feel tired, lost, anxious, etc. is not "the increase and flood of friend circle information" as many articles say (this is only one aspect), but the essence is that this temporary weak relationship cannot give us enough satisfaction, security, and sense of maintenance.

Let’s talk about how and why this weak relationship circle, which will become more and more important on WeChat, will affect us and its impact on the future of WeChat Moments.

1. "Temporary social relationships" based on interest needs: most likely to become "zombie relationships"

As mentioned above, this type of relationship now occupies a large proportion on WeChat. Although this type of relationship is caused by work reasons, professional social networking, and mixing in a certain class, it is essentially based on the need for benefits. Of course, the benefit here is not a derogatory term, nor does it refer to money, but it carries a certain specific purpose or need. For example, an unfamiliar or stranger adds you as a WeChat friend because he/she wants to consult something, or just to establish a preliminary WeChat contact in order to ask for something in the future, or to reserve connections, or for marketing promotion, etc.

In short, this kind of relationship is not triggered by real friends, but mostly with certain needs. This kind of relationship will be activated when the need for benefits arises, and a "temporary social relationship" will be established. Once the need is met, the social relationship will gradually fade, or even return to the ranks of strangers. So this kind of relationship is like a temporary tacit "communication contract".

If zombie users represent a large number of inactive and silent users on Weibo, then "zombie relationships" seem to be a good description of these temporary relationships on WeChat. The activity of these relationships is inactive most of the time, lying there quietly. It seems that you have many "friends" or "relationships", but they are often in name only and have poor interactivity. It is precisely because there are more and more "zombie relationships" on WeChat, and the resulting redundant and useless information is becoming more and more serious, that our tolerance has to be reported. Therefore, many articles discussing this phenomenon on WeChat show that we have personally felt the existence of this problem.

2. What conditions are needed to transform temporary social relationships into close relationships?

When it comes to this issue, we must first talk about maintaining relationships between people.

If the relationship between people is to be more sticky and transform into a close emotional relationship, conditions are required. The first condition is: communication and maintenance in real situations. Studies have shown that face-to-face communication between people will promote the enhancement of social relationships. Therefore, for most of the temporary weak relationships on WeChat, only by constantly having opportunities or creating opportunities for real communication, can such relationships become closer. The more resonance there is, the more emotional factors will be generated, and emotions are the important bond to maintain a lasting relationship. In principle, closer social relationships will have more interactions, exchanges, and greater activity.

This real situation can be seen on WeChat: constantly integrating into a circle on WeChat and constantly exposing yourself in it to get communication opportunities; constantly discussing with others; or moving from online to offline for more face-to-face communication. Therefore, frequent communication with others on WeChat, or being able to transform this temporary relationship to offline, can make the temporary relationship sublimate, become closer, and have more interactions. However, under normal circumstances, most people cannot do this. If not, then this temporary relationship will quickly fade after the connection is established, and subsequent interactions will lack motivation. For example, some people who don’t like to participate in circle discussions and have no intention of deliberately creating communication opportunities are very likely to become a member of a "zombie relationship."

The second condition is that when temporary social relationships are restarted due to interest needs, communication and activity will be restarted. If this interest need occurs continuously, for example, after adding each other as friends, there will be regular communication and exchange due to work needs, then this relationship will become close in the long run. However, this situation only occurs in a few people in your circle, because the people who really have long-term communication needs for you are in the minority after all, and the remaining temporary social relationships remain silent most of the time.

The third condition is that temporary social relationships find a "resonance zone", such as similar interests and hobbies, similar living environments, similar information, and very overlapping work content. Only when resonance occurs, two people who are unfamiliar with each other, or two people who have established a communication relationship for some kind of interest, will have the desire to maintain it further, and this relationship will be likely to transform from a temporary relationship into an emotionally close relationship, and communication and interaction will increase, and even become real friends. However, it is difficult to find a bosom friend in life, and this kind of "resonance" is something that can only be encountered but not sought.

Therefore, although these conversion conditions can be achieved, they do not occur frequently for most people, so our circle of friends is still mainly temporary social relationships with little communication, little interaction, and low activity.

3. Why do these temporary social relationships gradually fade, become less active, and even become increasingly silent?

As mentioned before, temporary social relationships are established halfway, mostly based on some kind of interest needs, so the two parties who build temporary social relationships do not know each other. We don’t know what the other person’s real life is like. The information we see about the other person in the circle of friends is specially labeled, and this information has been self-screened and filtered. In other words, what we see about the other person, whether it is life, personality, temperament, hobbies, habits, work, etc., is what the other person wants us to see, and it is all fragmented.

Therefore, we cannot truly understand each other. If there is no opportunity for contact, we cannot perceive each other's full picture, so we are even more reluctant to reveal our true self. Therefore, the maintenance of this temporary social relationship can only be intermittent, and it will be activated to the greatest extent when the need for interests occurs, and the long-term maintenance of interactive relationships becomes difficult. Therefore, occasionally sending messages in the circle has become a way to create opportunities for interaction. However, the amount of information exposure should not be too little (too little is not conducive to the maintenance of temporary social relationships), nor too much (too much will cause information pressure).

For most people, this temporary social relationship seems to be a waste. For example, someone adds you on WeChat for some reason, and after the communication, you have no more information exchanges, or become strangers forever, but the other party's information often appears in your circle of friends, and you don't care much about this information, so this can only increase the pressure of information processing. At this time, three situations will occur: First, block each other, become eternal silent people, no longer interact and communicate, and turn into a real "zombie relationship". If the other party finds that they are "blocked", it may deteriorate the relationship; second, for some considerations, often like those who have established temporary social relationships with you, and occasionally comment, but this will turn you into a like machine and make you tired. Third, do not block, but never like, nor comment on the interaction, because "I really don't know you, I don't have a real impression of you, sometimes I want to comment on the interaction, but I really don't know what appropriate words to use. I am worried that inappropriate comments will destroy the impression of each other's assumptions. Don't blame me for not speaking, because we are really not familiar with each other."

Therefore, the mental cost of maintaining this temporary social relationship is very high, and it may even make people feel at a loss. Of course, some people say that they can delete the other party and end the relationship, but many people think that deletion is disrespectful to others, so they will choose one of the above three situations to deal with it. I agree with what Teacher Wei Wuhui said on WeChat, "Interpersonal relationships are very subtle. How you treat others is how they treat you. There is no need to publicly state it." So everyone tacitly approves the existence of this social relationship, while enduring the information flooding the screen, and even has to consider maintaining it, which is indeed irritating and anxious.

The direct physiological reaction caused by this state is anxiety or even disgust towards the increase of irrelevant information. Ultimately, this state will greatly reduce the frequency of opening WeChat and checking Moments, because avoiding is a direct way to relieve information pressure and anxiety. Therefore, we can understand why so many people are calling for escaping WeChat Moments, throwing away their phones and returning to real life. This is why temporary social relationships are low in activity and may even turn into zombie relationships.

4. The stickiness of WeChat Moments will weaken, and most people will become lonely performers

We also find that the more unfamiliar people we add to our WeChat Moments, the more silent we become, because people are less willing to expose their real life status to unfamiliar people. Therefore, as the WeChat platform increasingly becomes a tool for people's professional survival, development, marketing, etc., silence in this circle is inevitable.

As for the original close social relationships on WeChat (relatives, friends, strong relationships), WeChat actually serves as a communication platform, and the activity of these strong relationships is limited. Even if WeChat is not used, such strong relationships can still be maintained through other communication methods. And those weak relationships based on WeChat are bound to the WeChat platform. If they cannot find a way to transform them into close relationships, they can only be maintained by WeChat, but as mentioned above, the cost of long-term maintenance is too high and difficult. However, such weak relationships now account for a large proportion on WeChat, which is bound to weaken the stickiness of the circle of friends.

In addition, we cannot ignore the fact that everyone pays attention to and cares about a limited range of things. For example, most people care about their own social circle, work circle, class circle, and professional circle. The roles you define for yourself are also limited to one or two. For example, people who are involved in mixed media will often pay attention to and publish dynamics and information in the media circle, but this information cannot arouse the interest of your friends in other circles, so there must be very little interaction in these circles. As for those temporary social relationships that are not familiar, because they are not familiar with each other and there is no overlap in life or work, the frequency of interaction will also be less. The more such relationships there are, the lower the interactivity.

Then, the lonely performer in the center of the stage came to my mind again. Everyone stands in the center of the stage, but they don’t know who the audience is or what they look like. Everyone has so many “friends” in their circle of friends, but they don’t know what these “friends” are like and how to interact and understand them. When your enthusiasm fades, what will happen to your circle of friends? Who has a “zombie relationship” with you?

As a winner of Toutiao's Qingyun Plan and Baijiahao's Bai+ Plan, the 2019 Baidu Digital Author of the Year, the Baijiahao's Most Popular Author in the Technology Field, the 2019 Sogou Technology and Culture Author, and the 2021 Baijiahao Quarterly Influential Creator, he has won many awards, including the 2013 Sohu Best Industry Media Person, the 2015 China New Media Entrepreneurship Competition Beijing Third Place, the 2015 Guangmang Experience Award, the 2015 China New Media Entrepreneurship Competition Finals Third Place, and the 2018 Baidu Dynamic Annual Powerful Celebrity.