What did I do wrong to become a highly sensitive person...

In real life, highly sensitive personality (HSP) really exists. Studies show that the proportion of HSP in the population is about 20%.

The concept of "highly sensitive personality" was first defined by American psychologist and researcher Elaine Allen. HSP is a relatively stable and lasting personality trait, also known as "sensory processing sensitivity" (SPS) in academia.

Image source: Japanese drama "Nagi's New Life"

There are many people in life who think they are HSP.

PART1

What are the characteristics of highly sensitive people?

There are some obvious characteristics of highly sensitive people. See if you have any of them.

High standards, high expectations, and low self-esteem. Most highly sensitive people have unhealthy perfectionism. They set very high goals for themselves to regulate their behavior, that is, high expectations under high standards.

For example, being helpful, warm and friendly, understanding, vigilant, thoughtful, reliable, and caring about others, perhaps highly sensitive people will make achieving these 100% their personality motto, but this will also make them tired and exhausted from maintaining their own personality.

Highly sensitive people may have strong abilities at work and be confident in the areas they excel in, but they still lack a sense of security and always doubt whether they are good enough for others to really like them.

They have strong senses, are very sensitive to information and have compulsive reactions. They are used to deeply processing the information they receive and are often in a state of fatigue. Regardless of whether the information is relevant to them, they will compulsively take in the information. They are extremely sensitive to sound, smell, and light, and are often frightened. Some people even vomit when listening to unpleasant songs, which overloads their brains and makes them physically and mentally exhausted.

They have strong empathy and high awareness of emotions, and can accurately capture the emotions and needs of others. In social activities, they are good at observing details that others ignore, such as noticing other people's body language and subtle expressions. It is more pleasant to get along with highly sensitive people, and people who interact with them often have a sense of "being valued". This is a talent that is deeply rooted in their bones, and this talent sometimes wins them many opportunities and relationships.

They need a lot of time alone, and need to stay in an independent environment to recharge themselves after a long day. But they are also prone to emo when they are alone, thinking deeply, reflecting on their experiences a lot, and even suffering from insomnia. They tend to immerse themselves in works of art, such as movies, plays, and musicals. They have a rich inner world and wild ideas.

PART2

What causes a sensitive constitution?

First, it may be caused by inherited personality traits. Brain imaging research by Bianca Acevedo, a psychologist at Stony Brook University in New York, showed that the "insula" area in the HSP brain is more active, leading to deep processing of information. In addition, research shows that it may also be related to the serotonin transporter gene.

It may also be related to the shadow of the original family, the lack of emotions in the childhood environment, and the situation caused by the parents' failure to give their children enough emotional response. From parents' too high expectations of their children, not paying attention to their children's true voices, to ignoring their children's emotional experiences, resulting in their low self-esteem and inferiority, etc., childhood neglect can easily lead to the formation of a highly sensitive personality.

Image source: pixabay

In fact, the external environment also has a great influence on the formation of HSP. In a bad environment, HSP may do worse than others; but in a good environment, they can do better than others.

Research suggests that HSPs' abilities and confidence in their abilities can vary widely, depending on whether they grew up in a stressful, unsupportive environment or a very supportive one.

PART3

How can highly sensitive people save themselves?

In fact, high sensitivity is also a kind of talent. It can perceive and process internal and external information more deeply, and have stronger insight and awareness, and feel the emotional fluctuations of others.

Psychologist Jung once said that high sensitivity can greatly enrich our personality traits. Therefore, HSPs can try to treat their sensitive emotions with a normal mind and magnify their personality strengths.

Not being swayed by emotions, the happiness of highly sensitive people comes from calmness and peace. You should know that emotions are temporary, and HSPs are highly sensitive to most things, so they should treat caution and worry with a normal mind, devote themselves to work, let themselves forget the troubles in front of them when they are busy, and maintain inner peace.

Selectively refuse, including refusing unnecessary social interactions, avoiding external stimulation, and try your best to avoid internal stimulation. You can meditate and calm yourself to make yourself more relaxed.

Loving yourself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. Having strong empathy is an advantage, but HSPs should also take more care of themselves, learn to be kind to themselves, and affirm their own values. Ensure your own time alone, but also seek support from close relationships and find your own warmth in your social circle. Keeping your passion and spending time on things you are interested in will also make you more relaxed when you are alone.

You must have the courage to step out of your comfort zone, be fully prepared before and after anything, and have the courage to put it into practice, constantly challenge yourself, and make yourself more confident.

Elena Herdieckerhoff speaks at TEDx

Elena Herdieckerhoff in the picture is an acclaimed TEDx speaker with 4 million views on YouTube. She is dedicated to the cause of highly sensitive personality. She once thought that her sensitivity was a defect and that she was a "freak". However, with a deeper understanding of highly sensitive personality, she gradually realized that people with sensitive hearts are not weak, and we have the power of gentleness.

We should all believe that sensitivity is not wrong, but a gift that gives us something unique. We should also believe that HSP people can also walk slowly and firmly, gently and powerfully on the road of life.

END

Reviewer: Taozi, National Psychological Counselor

Tadpole Musical Notation original article, please indicate the source when reprinting

Editor/Heart and Paper