A moment of relaxation: If you want to marry, marry a programmer, who makes a lot of money, talks little, and has a good temper.

The programmer asked Kobe: "Why are you so successful?"

Kobe: "Do you know what it's like at 4 in the morning in Los Angeles?"

Programmer: “I know. I’m usually still writing code at that time. What’s wrong?”

Kobe: “Uh….”

Goddess: If you can make everyone in this forum quarrel, I will go with you tonight.

Programmer: PHP is the best language!

The forum exploded with all kinds of quarrels.

Goddess: I admire you. Let’s go. You can do whatever you want.

Programmer: Not today, I must convince them that PHP is the best language.

I am a hard-working programmer. I worked overtime until almost all night tonight. I was so sleepy that I could hardly open my eyes. My female boss was very concerned and asked me if I wanted to have a midnight snack. I said in a bad mood that I could have a good night's sleep. My female boss blushed and said "I hate you". Then she sat next to me without moving, as if she was very close to me, which made me very nervous. Did she find a bug in my program?

It turns out that there are two types of programmers, one is called a programmer, and the other is called a programmer. I think they can definitely love each other because they have too many common languages ​​(such as C, Java, C#, PHP, Python, Ruby, cdth...)

A programmer goes on a blind date and says: I am a programmer.

Beauty: Hello, Mr. Cheng.

Programmer: Just call me programmer

The architect went on a blind date and said: I am an architect.

Beauty: Hello, Mr. Jia.

Architect: Just call me shit

My husband must find a programmer! ! ! ! !

Those who have more money and talk less die early [[121201]]

The wife called her husband, a programmer, and said, "Buy a pound of steamed buns on your way home from get off work. If you see someone selling watermelons, buy one."

That night, my programmer husband came home holding a steamed bun...

The wife angrily asked, "Why did you only buy one bun?!"

My husband replied, "Because I saw someone selling watermelons."

A: When you pirated the software, did you ever think about the programmers who created the software? How can they support their families?

B: Hahaha, stop kidding. Programmers don’t have families to support! [[121202]]

Even IE has the courage to ask you if you want to set it as your default browser, but you fucking want to tell me that you don’t have the courage to confess to the person you like!

I have five browsers installed on my computer, plus IE, a total of six. Every time they ask me plaintively whether I should set them as the default browser, I feel like the ancient men who were content to watch their wives and concubines vying for their favors...

When you are staying up late to debug your code, someone is staying up late to debug your wife

Someone posted: "Hello JR, I want to be a programmer, is there anything I should pay attention to..."

A certain ape: "I'll tell you in detail after I get off work..."

And then... nothing happened

I borrowed 1000 from my programmer friend, and he said he would lend me 24 more to make it a round number.

Programmer A: "I'm having fish-flavored shredded pork with rice, what are you having?"

Programmer B: “Kung Pao Chicken with Rice.”

Programmer A writes on the menu:

Fish-flavored Shredded Pork Rice 1

Kung Pao Chicken Rice 1

Programmer B: "I still want beef noodles!"

Programmer A corrects the menu:

Fish-flavored Shredded Pork Rice 1

// Kung Pao Chicken Rice 1

Beef Noodles 1

I am a programmer. One day I was sitting on the roadside, drinking water and checking bugs. Then a beggar sat down next to me and started begging for food. I felt sorry for him, so I gave him a dollar and continued debugging the program. He might have a bad business, so he looked at what I was doing out of boredom. After a while, he said quietly, "There is a missing semicolon here."

I asked in surprise: "You also know this business?" The beggar said: "I used to do this."

After retirement, a programmer decided to practice calligraphy, so he spent a lot of money to buy the four treasures of the study. One day, after dinner, he suddenly felt like practicing calligraphy, so he ground ink and prepared paper, and lit some fine sandalwood. After a moment of concentration, he splashed ink and wrote a line of words solemnly: hello world!

IT is too hard, what should I do if I want to change my career? " "Press Enter. "

Programmers don't like Qianlong's eighth son because of the Eighth Prince bug

When a female classmate was eating in the cafeteria, a programmer came up to her and said, "Classmate, can I talk to you? I haven't talked to a girl for a month.

Two programmers are chatting:

Person A: "I met this hot chick yesterday. I took her home and we started kissing each other like crazy, and she sat on my keyboard, and then..."

B: "You also have a computer at home? What model of CPU is it?"

[[121204]]

A programmer’s reading journey: Introduction to x language—> Application and practice of x language—> Advanced programming of x language—> The science and art of x language—> The beauty of programming—> The way of programming—> The Zen of programming—> Cervical Spondylosis Rehabilitation Guide.